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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

As children becomes adults , the social behaviour changes in some ways , what are the main differences between young children ‘ social behaviour and that of adults ? To what extent are changes that take place good ?

#children #adults #behaviour #changes #differences #place
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It is
very
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a very
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 true fact that when children grow into adults their social
act
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activities
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 will change
through
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in
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some ways . There are many differences between them about social behaviour and it plays
significant
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a significant
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 role to a large extent about their good
changes
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 . In terms of differences , teenagers are not mature enough take to take any decisions and to hold any responsibilities because they put steps just into
outer
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the outer
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 world and
also
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 they do not have
sense
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a sense
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for
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of
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 right or wrong thing .
By
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On
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contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
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 , adults
are matured
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have matured
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 persons who easily face many problems in their
life
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due to
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apply
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they have ample
of
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apply
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life
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 experience than young toddlers .
Additionally
Linking Words
 , they earn themselves and take responsibilities in their
life
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 with
happy
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a happy
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 face .
Furthermore
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, they frequently join family or social gatherings in order to make good relationships with others ,
Linking Words
however
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,however
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 offsprings are reluctant to do that because
of
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apply
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they do not understand its importance and
also
Linking Words
 they have
less
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a less
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 mutual understanding as compared to adults . Whereas
,
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apply
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there are some advantages to children to take risks and adventure in their
life
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 which helps to boost their confidence level ,
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consequently
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,consequently
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 it grows their personal and professional development . For an instance, a company and organisation
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changes
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change
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 management strategies due to technological advancement . These are flexible to accept to
changes
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come
Correct pronoun usage
that come
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 in
professional
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a professional
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 career which
help
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helps
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 to be self-confident and flexible . In conclusion , there are so many differences between toddlers and adult ' s social behaviour
such
Linking Words
 as younger are less mature than older ones . These
changes
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 greatly help to move forward in their
life
Use synonyms
 as they
imoprive
Correct your spelling
improve
 their confidence level .
Submitted by himanshumali90 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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