IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Living in large cities today's poses many problems for people. What are these problems? Should governments encourage more people to live in a smaller town

#cities #people #governments #town
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These days a plethora of difficulties have been undergone by city dwellers living in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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big
urbans
Correct your spelling
urban
turbans
, which are comprised of  population density, air pollution, and increasing
crime
Use synonyms
 rate. So,
this
Linking Words
 problem will be solved by offering some alternative cases through government authorities. The origin of
this
Linking Words
 situation
seem
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seems
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 to stem from three factors.
Firstly
Linking Words
, overcrowding issue,
for example
Linking Words
, a wide range of amenities and facilities
such
Linking Words
 as modern health_care systems, International airport, and so on, are existed merely in certain areas, which caused many individuals to move out and settle in
a well-equipped places
Correct the article-noun agreement
well-equipped places
a well-equipped place
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 to improve their quality of life. So, can lead to congestion on the
on
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metropolises.
Secondly
Linking Words
, because of the fact that there are lots of  job vacancies have offered in large urban.
Hence
Linking Words
, so many people have been attracted by these privileges, which caused much more traffic congestion and air pollution through
fumes
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the fumes
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 of cars.
Finally
Linking Words
, facing
new
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a new
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 trend in
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crime
Correct article usage
the crime
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 rate.  Owning to the fact that
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
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 of living in mega_cities are quite high some individuals go through a lot of difficulties to make their ends meet .
Moreover
Linking Words
, having been some injustice in the society, they couldn't make
decent
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a decent
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 living out of their job.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they are likely to commit a
crime
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 to meet their needs, which is catastrophic. Some fundamental steps can be taken by governments to tackle these problems. In the
first
Linking Words
 place, could
be address
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be addressed
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 by enhancing people welfare in these deprived zones.
For example
Linking Words
, by providing more occupation opportunities for folk, who are living in
this
Linking Words
 kind of sectors through offering financial incentives
such
Linking Words
 as tax rebates for companies that establish their factories in the suburbs or on the outskirts of the cities. In the
second
Linking Words
 place, by accommodating their needs in terms of having state-of-the-art facilities like swimming pool, shopping centre, and so on. In collusion, some problems of living in huge urban cities include
of
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overcrowding, air pollution, and increasing
crime
Use synonyms
 rate which can be solved by running company in the suburbs and creating some recreational centres
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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