IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment.what factors may have caused this situation ,and what in your opinion what should ne done?

5.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
We are living in
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
show examples
over crowded
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
show examples
 world.There are a significant number of countries where
well educated
Add a hyphen
well-educated
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are not getting the work.There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of restaurants for
this
Linking Words
.
This
Linking Words
 essay is set to discuss the reason along with suitable solutions.
Body paragraph 1
First
Linking Words
 and foremost,
reason
Add an article
the reason
show examples
 for unemployment in many regions is
rapidly
Correct article usage
the rapidly
show examples
 growing population which
consequently
Linking Words
 leads to
Add a hyphen
cut-throat
show examples
cut throat
Correct your spelling
cutthroat
show examples
 competition.
Opputunities
Correct your spelling
Opportunities
 are not increasing as the rate of population.
Thus
Linking Words
 it leads to
imbalance
Add an article
an imbalance
show examples
 between employees and employers.
For instance
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 country like India is having a large amount of population. If there is a vacancy for ten
people
Use synonyms
 thousand
people
Use synonyms
 will be available and apply for it. Ultimately only ten
people
Use synonyms
 have a chance to get a job.
Body paragraph 2
Another unavoidable reason is a lack of practical knowledge. Every year thousands of students
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
degree
Add an article
a degree
show examples
 from various institute or universities. Passing the exam from school shows academic skills of one but in the real world technical skills plays
inevitable
Add an article
an inevitable
show examples
 role. Some professions like
dentis
Correct your spelling
dentist
dentistry
 ,therapist and doctors demand highly developed skills. Nowadays some of the freshly pass out students do not have
in depth
Add a hyphen
in-depth
show examples
 knowledge of
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 subject.
For example
Linking Words
, one has got
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 degree
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
dentist
Add an article
the dentist
a dentist
show examples
. He has all the theoretical knowledge
however
Linking Words
 if he is not aware of how to use it on patients
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 it leads to unemployment.
Conclusion
I believe that government should take strict measures to decrease the rate of unemployment . Government should focus on
opening
Add an article
the opening
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employment agencies.
Additionally
Linking Words
,one should try to improve the virtues that can help to get a job.
Also
Linking Words
 , universities should organise campus interviews more frequently.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • highly qualified graduates
  • employment market
  • job vacancies
  • mismatch of skills
  • economic downturn
  • globalization
  • outsourcing
  • technological advancements
  • market demand
  • skills gap
  • employment opportunities
  • recession
  • job growth
  • graduate unemployment
  • career prospects
  • qualifications
  • relevant experience
  • job market trends
What to do next:
Look at other essays: