Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

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In recent times,

Use synonyms

skincare

Correct your spelling

skin care

show examples

is no longer limited to one gender, as both genders have been noticed to splurge on

this

Linking Words

. Many are of the opinion that it never used to be

this

Linking Words

way. I will be addressing why I believe more people are spending more money on

skincare

Use synonyms

because of awareness, and

also

Linking Words

what the effects of

this

Linking Words

could be. In the past, beautifying oneself

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

something that was attributed to just one gender, the female gender.

Men

Use synonyms

who took the time to care about appearances were seen as weak or not masculine enough. Think about it, if you saw a man applying sunscreen on the train 5 years ago, what would your reaction be?

However

Linking Words

that is

Linking Words

no longer the situation. A study done in 2015 showed that more and more

men

Use synonyms

were coming down with different skin problems.

Hence

Linking Words

, dermatologist around the world has made it their

lives

Change noun form

life's

show examples

goal to not just create

skincare

Use synonyms

products that enhance

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

beauty, but

also

Linking Words

heal

skin related

Add a hyphen

skin-related

show examples

ailments even before they occur.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

enlightenment, the percentage of

men

Use synonyms

having dermatologic problems drastically reduced. Because of

this

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, we see more

men

Use synonyms

spending on their bodies

Change preposition

than

show examples

never

Correct your spelling

ever

show examples

before.

As a result

Linking Words

of both genders being interested in

skincare

Use synonyms

like never before, there's now a huge economic boom in the

skincare

Use synonyms

industry. In Nigeria, in the year 2020, it was shown that over a million dollars were spent on the importation of beauty products (the return

Change preposition

show examples

investment was over 28%). With

this

Linking Words

level of profits studied, there are more jobs created in the industry,

thus

Linking Words

reducing the level of unemployment. In conclusion, looking beautiful is no longer gender-based but now universal. Regardless of your biological configuration, you can

also

Linking Words

spend as much more as you want on looking beautiful.

Skincare

Use synonyms

has proven to be very versatile; beautifying the human race

while

Linking Words

enhancing the economy.

toluwaniolufawoTue May 25 2021

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task response

Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the prompt in a comprehensive manner.

coherence and cohesion

Maintain a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, and use cohesive devices to connect and organize the information effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

media influence
idealized beauty standards
disposable income
economic prosperity
technological advancements
beauty products and services
cultural shifts
social contexts
personal health and wellness
self-care routines

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Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

Your opinion

Countries should restrict foreign companies from opening offices and factories in order to protect local business. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that plastic shopping bags should be banned because they contribute to land and sea pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fossil fuels (coal, oil, natural gas) are the main sources in many countries , but in some countries the use of alternative sources of energy (wind energy and solar energy) is encouraged. To what extent do you think it is a positive or negative development?