During holidays or weekends, young people spend less time on outdoor activities in the nature environment, such as hiking and mountain climbing. Why? What can be done to encourage them to go out?

Though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
a lot of
people
prefer to spend their leisure
time
in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
, but few of them are interested in
activities
as hiking or mountain climbing. What is the problem? It is obvious, that kind of
activities
demand to have corresponding physical conditions, but nowadays society does not care about it as much as required. Օne of the most common and effective ways to raise
people
’s awareness about the importance of physical activity in
nature
Correct article usage
the nature
show examples
environment. Hiking and mountain climbing are
such
type of
activities
that are less preferable than others
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they take too much energy and
time
. A person should be physically healthy and strong to be able to walk about five hours continually or have strong enough arms to climb mountains. As many
people
after forty are physically weak, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of interested
people
in
such
kind hobbies are less. As a matter of fact,
survey
Add an article
a survey
the survey
show examples
on how and where
people
prefer to spend their weekends was held in Armenia and was found seventy
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
choose
Add the particle
tochoose
show examples
spend leisure
time
in cafes and city hotels than a day in nature.
Add an article
A society
show examples
Society
Add a verb
isSociety
wasSociety
show examples
less informed about advantages that be gained spending
time
in wild nature. So, making some informational tours and practical lessons about hiking and climbing will
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
the interest.
Moreover
,
this
approach will make
a
Change the article
an
show examples
imagination about
activities
as they are not so widespread. On my own example, a year ago I read in
newspaper
Add an article
the newspaper
a newspaper
show examples
about a climbing tour to the Aragact and I participated in it to satisfy my interest, so after that day I found a new incredible interesting hobby for me.
Accordingly
, outdoor
activities
such
as hiking and mountain claiming are less popular as not everyone is able to do it,
therefore
raising informational awareness about positive aspects can
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
interest in
thrm
Correct your spelling
them
that
charm
.
Submitted by davit.khudaverdyan.96 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: