IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #job
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There
are
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is
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 more paramount major in society. Some
people
Use synonyms
thinks
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think
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 that entertainment personalities like film stars, singers
also
Linking Words
 sport stars are paid
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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money rather than other
people
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. I partially agree with the given
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
 since there are the keys that entertainment
people
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 helps to encourage mood but at that time other major perhaps doctors should be paid more they
donates
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donate
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 their time and
force
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forced
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 to treat
people
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, entertainers
such
Linking Words
 as
acters
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actors
show examples
,
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
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 of singers as well as
sport
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sports
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 stars are paid
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
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 money. There several features that entertainers do to change
mood
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the mood
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 of
people
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 to give a good tune after a stressful day or weekend.
For instance
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, they do a fantastic content, and
also
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 they need to be in feet since they can come to the public with bad specious, they do a diet
another words
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another word
other words
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 they turn down
variety
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a variety
the variety
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 of fast food, they should maintain themselves due to that they paid more rather than others. At
this
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 time doctors are crucial
people
Use synonyms
 in society since there is had a sort of
diesease
Correct your spelling
disease
 that can deal
people
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themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
 due to that they should be paid more than others.
Likewise
Linking Words
, it is good if
people
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 just would become a well-known it gives fascinating opportunity, they should not need to pay more since of the being actress or performance help of their ability. Others studied more than entertainment
people
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, singers just gain high amount of money help of their skill. To conclude, all the above points fortify my opinion that
people
Use synonyms
 in
entertainmen
Correct your spelling
entertainment
 receive
a
Correct article usage
the
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 payment that they deserve.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, other professions which involve high risk, responsibilities and skills, should
also
Linking Words
 be paid well so as to attract and keep the required talent motivated enough to choose these fields as their possible career.
Submitted by Dariga on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Revenue generation
  • Supply and demand
  • Influence on culture
  • Trendsetters
  • Income disparity
  • Essential workers
  • Critical role
  • Public health
  • Endorsements
  • Economies
  • Compensation
  • Significant contribution
  • Technological advancements
  • Global challenges
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