Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

There
are
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is
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more paramount major in society. Some
people
thinks
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think
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that entertainment personalities like film stars, singers
also
sport stars are paid
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
money rather than other
people
. I partially agree with the given
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
since there are the keys that entertainment
people
helps to encourage mood but at that time other major perhaps doctors should be paid more they
donates
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donate
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their time and
force
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forced
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to treat
people
.
To begin
with, entertainers
such
as
acters
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actors
show examples
,
variety
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a variety
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of singers as well as
sport
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sports
show examples
stars are paid
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
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money. There several features that entertainers do to change
mood
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the mood
show examples
of
people
to give a good tune after a stressful day or weekend.
For instance
, they do a fantastic content, and
also
they need to be in feet since they can come to the public with bad specious, they do a diet
another words
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another word
other words
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they turn down
variety
Add an article
a variety
the variety
show examples
of fast food, they should maintain themselves due to that they paid more rather than others. At
this
time doctors are crucial
people
in society since there is had a sort of
diesease
Correct your spelling
disease
that can deal
people
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
due to that they should be paid more than others.
Likewise
, it is good if
people
just would become a well-known it gives fascinating opportunity, they should not need to pay more since of the being actress or performance help of their ability. Others studied more than entertainment
people
, singers just gain high amount of money help of their skill. To conclude, all the above points fortify my opinion that
people
in
entertainmen
Correct your spelling
entertainment
receive
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
payment that they deserve.
Nevertheless
, other professions which involve high risk, responsibilities and skills, should
also
be paid well so as to attract and keep the required talent motivated enough to choose these fields as their possible career.
Submitted by Dariga on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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