Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with others. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times, the effect of how individuals use their free
time
Use synonyms
is being debated often. Some people are of the opinion that watching the TV in one's free
time
Use synonyms
makes them lazy and decrease their interaction with others. I personally believe that your spare period should be used
doing
Change the verb form
to do
show examples
what you are most comfortable with. In my essay, I am going to present why I have a different view on
this
Linking Words
issue. Many adults are engaged in daily activities that bring them in contact with other people,
for example
Linking Words
, going to the office daily brings you in touch with your colleagues
Change preposition
with who
show examples
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
you interact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
frequently during the work hour throughout your working week. The urge to have some alone moments during your spare period, far from interacting with your co-workers and
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
attendant stress, should not be considered as being dead-beat, but rather as a period of
rejuvination
Correct your spelling
rejuvenation
and relaxation. Indeed, psychologists have shown through various experiments and publications, that about 90% of people who take
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
few minutes to engage in an activity they love,
such
Linking Words
as watching a movie,
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
to lower their blood
pressur
Correct your spelling
pressure
.
Although
Linking Words
, watching a sporting activity may be considered as wasted
time
Use synonyms
, the emotional reward if your team wins is not quantifiable,
thus
Linking Words
the notion that
indiduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
who engage in
such
Linking Words
are not being productive is flawed. Adults should be allowed to spent their
time
Use synonyms
as they deem fit without others being judgmental. In my final submission, I
stongly
Correct your spelling
strongly
disagree with the notion that
time
Use synonyms
spent watching the screen implies laziness
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
actual fact, it supports recovery from a stressful life and an
oppourtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
to maintain your mental health.
Submitted by adeola68 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: