Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Festivals are
integrative
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an integrative
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part of our society and
culture
. Many
people
even do not remember the real meaning of their ancestral
culture
. In fact, during these
Correct your spelling
occasions
occations
Add a comma
,occations
show examples
they enjoy their life alone. I completely agree with
this
statement.
This
essay will discuss that
people
are busy in earning their livelihood and they have limited numbers of holidays as the main reasons for
this
. Everyone is busy in their career and
money making
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money-making
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process. because of
this
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
people
forgot their traditional value and
culture
that their ancestors have been carrying for long period.
For example
, residents of
asian
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Asian
show examples
countries only celebrate western festivals like
Cristmas
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Christmas
. Due to
this
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,this
show examples
their coming generation will be deprived of real traditions, which was originated
long
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a long
show examples
time
ago for certain reasons. In fact, some festivals are made to cope with a particular type of problem. Most of the
people
enjoy festival
time
alone
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
they got leave from their company and they want to
spent
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spend
show examples
this
time
for their personal use rather than spending
time
with their family.
For instance
, many youngsters
go
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go-to
show examples
to
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on
show examples
holiday trip
in
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to
show examples
foreign countries
instead
of spending
time
with their family members.
Consequently
, these young
people
do not know the real meaning of traditional cultures. In conclusion, I totally agree with the statement that
people
have forgotten the real reason
of
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for
show examples
festivity, and they are busy in their career and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
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waste their valuable
time
in
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on
show examples
arrenging
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arranging
trip with their
collegues
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colleagues
and peers. I would suggest, they should know their
culture
well and carry
forward
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it forward
show examples
to
next
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the next
show examples
generation.
Submitted by suniliftm1982 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Commercialization
  • Globalization
  • Cultural dilution
  • Traditional values
  • Secularization
  • Festivity
  • Heritage
  • Individualism vs. collectivism
  • Consumer culture
  • Intangible cultural heritage
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