IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

big salary is more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagre?

#salary #job #satisfaction #disagre
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The
long standing
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long-standing
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 question of what is more important; a high revenue or a job we like, has had people divided
since
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for
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 as long as I can remember. Most of the population believes that having a high salary is more important. I have to state that I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
.
First
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 and foremost, the cost of
life
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living
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 has been significantly increasing every year
since
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for
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 more than a century,
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furthermore
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,furthermore
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 most of the jobs are located
on
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in
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 big cities which are the most expensive places to live
on
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in
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. Having a high paying job eliminates the stress of worrying about bills (house, transportation, food etc),
in addition
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 by having
money
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 it is possible to afford the
persuit
Correct your spelling
pursuit
 of hobbies
hence
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, getting the need
satisfaction
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 for
a
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apply
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healthy mental status.
Moreover
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, trying to find
satisfaction
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 from our jobs is a pressure we should not take. Sadly, we need
money
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 to survive in modern times,
thus
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 working is a
necesity
Correct your spelling
necessity
not
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,not
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 a luxury. While is true that in
an
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a
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 utopic society everybody would be getting
money
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 doing something they love, we should not let it affect our happiness, as there are a lot of other sources of activities outside of work that can bring
satisfaction
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 to our lives,
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however
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,however
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 they cost
money
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thus
Linking Words
 we need a high salary to do them. To conclude, while is absolutely true that everyone would love to work doing something where they can get the
satisfaction
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 needed to be happy the reality is that the high majority of the times
this
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 is not attainable,
thus
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 we should strive for jobs where we can get big
remuneratations
Correct your spelling
remunerations
remuneration
 to use
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 in activities we enjoy.
Submitted by issaelramirez on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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