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big salary is more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagre?

#salary #job #satisfaction #disagre
The
long standing
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long-standing
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 question of what is more important; a high revenue or a job we like, has had people divided
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
 as long as I can remember. Most of the population believes that having a high salary is more important. I have to state that I completely agree with
this
.
First
 and foremost, the cost of
life
Replace the word
living
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 has been significantly increasing every year
since
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for
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 more than a century,
furthermore
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,furthermore
show examples
 most of the jobs are located
on
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in
show examples
 big cities which are the most expensive places to live
on
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in
show examples
. Having a high paying job eliminates the stress of worrying about bills (house, transportation, food etc),
in addition
 by having
money
 it is possible to afford the
persuit
Correct your spelling
pursuit
 of hobbies
hence
, getting the need
satisfaction
 for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
healthy mental status.
Moreover
, trying to find
satisfaction
 from our jobs is a pressure we should not take. Sadly, we need
money
 to survive in modern times,
thus
 working is a
necesity
Correct your spelling
necessity
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
 a luxury. While is true that in
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 utopic society everybody would be getting
money
 doing something they love, we should not let it affect our happiness, as there are a lot of other sources of activities outside of work that can bring
satisfaction
 to our lives,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 they cost
money
thus
 we need a high salary to do them. To conclude, while is absolutely true that everyone would love to work doing something where they can get the
satisfaction
 needed to be happy the reality is that the high majority of the times
this
 is not attainable,
thus
 we should strive for jobs where we can get big
remuneratations
Correct your spelling
remunerations
remuneration
 to use
this
money
 in activities we enjoy.
Submitted by issaelramirez on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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