IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employ-ment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #graduates #employ-ment #factors #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many parts of the world today there are many highly qualified young graduates out of
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 unfortunate situation has been increased by the fact that to get a job you need a school qualification for which you need many years of study, in
this
Linking Words
 way the age of the workers rises, and the independence of the children becomes more and more distant.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Italy
Add a comma
,Italy
show examples
 many medical students at the end of their studies must go to look for
work
Use synonyms
 abroad as it is very difficult to find
work
Use synonyms
 in our country. Most jobs nowadays require a degree
although
Linking Words
 not all people are good for it, society requires a "sheet of paper" to be able to
work
Use synonyms
 when it is more difficult to obtain it than to do the job itself. Another important problem is that of public competitions in which there are few places available and many in demand.
For example
Linking Words
, to
work
Use synonyms
 in the world of education after the obligatory course of study, after university and specialization, after the qualification to teach you must take public courses obtaining "credits" for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
graduation where objectively the more you are older, they are high as there is no opportunity for young people to do experience and there are n
ot
Correct your spelling
not
 enough resources for
such
Linking Words
 an important but sacrificed sector. To conclude, I believe that the basis of
this
Linking Words
 problem is the organization of
this
Linking Words
 society where it is thought that young people do not want to
work
Use synonyms
 when
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they are not given the opportunities to do so.
Submitted by silyakar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: