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Some people think that young people should spend their free time with teir families instead of enjoying outside entertainment. However, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #teir #families #entertainment
In recent times, the need to organize adolescents spare
time
 is an issue all over the world. Nowadays, it is no longer clear
Change preposition
apply
show examples
as
Add the preposition
toas
show examples
 how should youngsters spend their free
time
. There are those who believe that teenagers should spend their leisure
time
 with their family, while others argue that young
people
 should do some outdoor activity.
To begin
 with, those who believe that youngsters should spend more
time
 with their family, say so for several reasons.
Firstly
, family members should spend
qulity
Correct your spelling
quality
time
 together in order to build a healthy environment, which should be managed in their spare
time
, since they are busy during the day.
Secondly
, if they are spending more
time
 together, they could have fun together, while
parents
 could look
afther
Correct your spelling
after
 their kids, and parenting them in a more
efficent
Correct your spelling
efficient
 way. Despite
these view
Change the determiner
this view
these views
show examples
, there are those who state young
people
 should spend their
time
 outside with their friends and
sibilings
Correct your spelling
siblings
.
First
 of all, these
people
 say adolescents should go out with their friends and socialise while
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
 doing some
activityes
Correct your spelling
activities
.
For example
, young
people
 should play some team sports together, which may
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 them to make new friendships and it could help them to develop their social skills.
Moreover
, it could help
building
Change the verb form
to build
show examples
 trust between
parents
 and their kids.
For instance
, if
teenager
Add an article
a teenager
show examples
 can go out by themselves, it
shoes
Correct your spelling
shows
show examples
 them their
parents
 trust them, which could help
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
 a healthy relationship between them. In conclusion,
spendig
Correct your spelling
spending
spend
time
 with family is important for both
parents
 and children
also
 youngsters should spend enough
time
outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
show examples
 with their friends. It is in my opinion that a mixe of both these views is necessary to rise up
a healthy children
Correct the article-noun agreement
healthy children
a healthy child
show examples
.
Submitted by davidwillphone on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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