Popular hobbies Nd interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashion than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some

people

Use synonyms

argue that the way others spend their free time change according to the current tendency, in order to keep a status quo

among

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show examples

society. The paragraphs below will state my strong agreement with the statement, since

people

Use synonyms

are always trying to fit in and, when they do not, have to suffer the consequences of their choice.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the main reason why I believe individuals choose a moment trend to focus

Change preposition

on is

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because

Replace the word

that

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society forces them to consider it as the best option.

For instance

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, during adolescence and initial adulthood, most men opt for lifting as a

sport

Change the verb form

sporting

show examples

choice, due to social belief that having a skin body and strong muscles is the most acceptable form of body shape.

Moreover

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, the media

also

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plays an important role in

this

Linking Words

situation, since

movie

Correct article usage

the movie

show examples

industry only portrayed fitness actors as main characters, affirming the stereotype of a perfect body to be achieved by viewers.

Furthermore

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, another point to justify the notion is due to the bullying faced by the ones who decide to do what they like for a

hobbie

Correct your spelling

hobby

. To illustrate

this

Linking Words

, taking a personal example, during my teenagehood, sewing was one interest of mine.

However

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, during the period I decided to take a course, I heard several sexist comments,

as a result

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, I decided to leave it, to stop being bullied.

Additionally

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, intolerance

also

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leads to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

insecurity to engaging in activities. To support

this

Linking Words

, a lot of Umbanda practitioners hide their religion for fear of being reprimand by prejudiced ones who claim that Umbanda is satanic, which it is not. To summarize, I utterly agree with

this

Linking Words

trend, because

people

Use synonyms

are insecure and prefer to follow the common will than showing their true self to avoid being mean treated.

Thus

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

should practise being more tolerant

with

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show examples

others in order to change

this

Linking Words

scenario.

alexandretcoTue Jun 08 2021

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Popular hobbies Nd interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashion than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move out of large cities and into regional areas. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people believe that universities should make sports a compulsory module on all degree courses as rates of obesity are getting higher and higher. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case?.Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience,

Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?