Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what really want to do in their spare time. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#hobbies #interests #change #time #reflection #trends #fashions #indication

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Somebody argues that the way others spend their free time change according to the current tendency, in order to keep a status quo among society. The paragraphs below will state my strong agreement with the statement, since people are always trying to fit in and, when they do not, have to suffer the consequences of their choice.

To begin

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with, the main reason why I believe individuals choose a moment trend to focus

Change preposition

on is

show examples

because

Replace the word

that

show examples

society forces them to consider it as the best option.

For instance

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, during adolescence and initial adulthood, most men opt for lifting as a

sport

Change the verb form

sporting

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choice, due to social belief that having a skin body and strong muscles is the most acceptable form of body shape.

Moreover

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, the media

also

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plays an important role in

this

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situation, since

movie

Correct article usage

the movie

show examples

industry only portrayed fitness actors as main characters, affirming the stereotype of a perfect body to be achieved by viewers.

Furthermore

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, another point to justify the notion is due to the bullying faced by the ones who decide to do what they like for a

hobbie

Correct your spelling

hobby

. To illustrate

this

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, taking a personal example, during my teenagehood, sewing was one interest of mine.

However

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, during the period I decided to take a course, I heard several sexist comments,

as a result

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, I decided to leave it, to stop being bullied.

Additionally

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, intolerance

also

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leads to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

insecurity to engaging in activities. To support

this

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, a lot of Umbanda practitioners hide their religion for fear of being reprimand by prejudiced ones who claim that Umbanda is satanic, which it is not. To summarize, I utterly agree with

this

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trend, because people are insecure and prefer to follow the common will than showing their true self to avoid being mean treated.

Thus

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, people should practise being more tolerant

with

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show examples

others in order to change

this

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scenario.

Submitted by alexandretco on Tue Jun 08 2021

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what really want to do in their spare time. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, some people are changing their way of look through hair colour, cosmetics and even plastic surgerie. What are the reasons? Is it a good thing?

A study shows that women may need more care than men. To what extent do you agree with it?

In many countries, the number of animals and is decreasing. Why do you think this is happening? How this issue can be solved?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?