Many people think happiness relies upon the responsibility of individuals, others think that is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion

#people #happiness #responsibility #individuals #factors

Achieving

happines

Correct your spelling

happiness

is the greatest goal of all human beings, there are two points of views that I will be discussing in

essay

Add an article

the essay

show examples

. One is the belief that

happiness

is a personal responsibility and

on the other hand

, to what extend

happiness

is determined by external factors.

Certainly

Add a comma

,Certainly

show examples

happiness

is a state of mind and the majority of

individuals

under normal

circunstances

Correct your spelling

circumstances

are capable of controlling their thoughts.

Therefore

, based on that premise it could be stated that

individuals

are in charge of their own feelings.

For instance

, if today it is a rainy day and a person decides to look at the positive side of the situation, he or she will determine the mood they will have for the rest of the day.

Moreover

, there are certain factors that might influence the

above mentioned

Add a hyphen

above-mentioned

show examples

state of mind,

specially

Replace the word

especially

show examples

when basic needs

such

pshysiological

Correct your spelling

physiological

, belonging and safety needs are not satisfied it

consequently

will impact

individual´s

Correct article usage

an individual´s

show examples

mood.

For instance

, if a person has no health and is not able to work he or she can not provide shelter, food

ans

Correct your spelling

and

so on, probably it is harder for

this

person to control his emotions and decide to be happy since his or her thoughts are focus on the crucial things that are missing. Once safety is achieved,

individuals

are able to manage their emotional state. In conclusion, it is true that

happiness

is a matter of self-responsibility to

certain

Add an article

a certain

show examples

point,

individuals

since

individuals

are in control of their emotions.

However

, there are some important facts that will directly influence

Change preposition

apply

show examples

peoples ability to feel happy

such

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

economic and health stability. To sum up, fifty

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

is a personal decision and the other half merely depends on other external components.

Submitted by shirley_7mp on Thu Jun 10 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

individual responsibility
personal mindset
proactive steps
self-improvement
socio-economic status
relationships
environmental conditions
external factors
positive attitude
pursuit of happiness
facilitate
hamper
proactive engagement
sense of achievement
conducive environment

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
There is an increasing population on the planet, and people are running out of water, food, and fuel. To what consequences may overpopulation lead? In your opinion, what measures calation?n be taken to fight overpopu
There are increasing in number of population due to health care development, so a raise in number of people may cause decrease in needs such as water, food, housing ,electricity, and fuel. In this statment I will discuss how we can avoide sources needs difficulty. In my opinion, the problem is on the availability of sources not on the number of populations.
7.5
band
Many think that governments should fund programs in search of life on other planets. However, others believe governments should focus on unresolved issues of the planet. Provide your opinion and discuss both views.
Many people including a few scientists believe that authorities should invest capital to search for an alternative place for human residence other than the dirt for a better future. Others think that there are many other matters that exist which are unresolved rather than living issues. From my perspective, the ministry should focus on solving other unsolved things which are bothering humankind rather than only focusing on searching for another living planet.
7.5
band
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In this contemporary epoch, while filling out the form at the hiring process some individuals ask their new hires to fill in their personal information such as their marital status, hobbies, and interests. A certain number of people consider it useful whereas critics disagree with the fact of providing personal details. In my opinion, personal data must be disclosed. This essay will delve into both opinions and will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
6.5
band
students to judge what is right and wrong so that they can behave well. Others say that teachers should only teach students academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is no denying the fact that the way to teach at schools can be a debatable subject. While it is a commonly held belief that some individuals believe teaching students how to behave well should be a teacher's responsibility. there is also an argument that students should only study academic subjects by their teachers. This essay will analyse this topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
8
band
During a recent plane journey,you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants.You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this businessman.In your letter •remind him when and where you met •tell him what kind of job you are interested in •say why you think you would be suitable for the job
My name is Umida and I am writing this letter to you in regard to a job for which we had a discussion with each other while travelling to India on 13th November on the Air India Flight because my seat number was 34 and yours were 33 window seat.

Many people think happiness relies upon the responsibility of individuals, others think that is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

There is an increasing population on the planet, and people are running out of water, food, and fuel. To what consequences may overpopulation lead? In your opinion, what measures calation?n be taken to fight overpopu

Many think that governments should fund programs in search of life on other planets. However, others believe governments should focus on unresolved issues of the planet. Provide your opinion and discuss both views.

students to judge what is right and wrong so that they can behave well. Others say that teachers should only teach students academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.