IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe that we should protect all wild animals while others believe we should just protect some of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #animals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of people believe that we should protect all wild
animals
Use synonyms
 but others believe we should protect some of them which are contained in the Red Book. Wild
animals
Use synonyms
 are playing a significant role in the ecological system and we should protect all of them as possible.
First
Linking Words
 of all, fauna should be protected from harmful mankind's influence because humanity is expanding, capturing and destroying uninhabited places where wild
animals
Use synonyms
 live. The Red Book is filled every year with new sorts of
animals
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 can be died out. Detrimental human influence led to the fact that some types of
animals
Use synonyms
 we will never see again.
For example
Linking Words
: sea cows were
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harmless and friendly creature and they had been killing totally for 27 years by sailors.
Secondly
Linking Words
, people are not able to defend all wild
animals
Use synonyms
, but they can protect some of them because their numbers are near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
zero. According to the World Wildlife Fund, the South China population was about 4000 in the 1950s and in the
next
Linking Words
 few
decades
Add a comma
,decades
show examples
 thousands were killed, by 1996 the population was estimated to be just 30-80 of these tigers. The Chinese government totally banned hunting and tried to increase the population to previous numbers and many volunteers helped them. In a nutshell, humanity and
animals
Use synonyms
 are parts of the ecosystem. We should protect all
animals
Use synonyms
 as possible because if we do not defend them the
next
Linking Words
 generation can not see some of them.
Although
Linking Words
 people should decrease the harmful influence on wildlife nature.
Submitted by PrimakovDen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • conservation status
  • ecological significance
  • holistic approach
  • endangered species
  • natural heritage
  • unforeseen negative impacts
  • economically non-viable
  • prioritization
  • ecosystem balance
  • conservation efforts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: