Graduates who cannot find work in their chosen field should be advised to do a second degree, rather than taking a job that does not interest them.

#graduates #work #field #second #job #interest

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this

Linking Words

day and age, it is quite challenging to attain an occupation because of the competitive market, and youngsters who are not able to gain a proper profession after graduated are encouraged to do a

second

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degree

Use synonyms

instead

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of working in a field that not engage them.

However

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, I tend to reckon that it is based on their circumstances, and I will interpret the reasons here.

Firstly

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, students had to pay a large amount of money for four years in their colleges. Because of costly fees, if they continue to study in order to accomplish a

second

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degree

Use synonyms

, they may struggle with the expenditure as well as cannot afford it. In

this

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case, being patient is better for them because of the fact that there are a variety of occasions that will appear in the future as long as they are diligent all of the time.

For example

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, I have seen my sister who has just obtained a decent job with a high salary after five years she worked in an unsatisfied position. And obviously, she has made an immense effort for

this

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achievement.

On the other hand

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, it does not necessarily follow that people have to spend their time working in a job which does not interest them. Nowadays, there is a lot of competition,

hence

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, learning a

second

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degree

Use synonyms

can support youngsters to enhance their competitive edge as well as broaden their horizons. It would appear that people who achieve more than one

degree

Use synonyms

often work efficiently and tend to be more successful than others

Change preposition

show examples

the career ladder. They are

also

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able to accomplish a high level of position in their employment. To sum up, I believe that people ought to make a decision

that is

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based on their situations. The most crucial thing is that to be aware of these issues and choose the path that best suits you.

Submitted by caomyphuong3004 on Fri Jun 11 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Graduates who cannot find work in their chosen field should be advised to do a second degree, rather than taking a job that does not interest them.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

People were happier in previous generations compared to now. To what extent do you agree? disagree

Some experts say that cyclists should take exams before they are allowed to ride on public roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?