IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that using animals for experimentation purpose is cruel but other people that it is necessary for the development of science. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #animals #experimentation #purpose #development #science
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Animal experimentation has been a topic of debate for the past decades. Some experts feel that it is beneficial to
use
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animals
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 for testing,
while
Linking Words
 others opine that it is a brutal method.
This
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 essay will discuss both views in depth, why it's good to
use
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animals
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 for science; and why in my opinion, testing them is cruel. The main benefit of animal testing is that it helps in the development of new drugs. As medical science advances, over decades, researchers try hard to find the cure for many incurable diseases.
Latest
Correct article usage
The latest
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 medicines formulated by pharmaceutical companies
test
Wrong verb form
were tested
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 on
animals
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 before the drugs used in human clinical trials, which has
lead
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led
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 to many medical discoveries involving
animals
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.
For example
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, in the 1920s, the
use
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 of insulin for
treatment
Correct article usage
the treatment
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against
Change preposition
of
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 diabetes
on
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in
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 dogs.
Hence
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, it is an advantage in the medical field.
Although
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 using
animals
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 for experiments has brought a lot of improvement in the scientific field, some oppose it. Humans have no moral right to conduct experiments on
animals
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, as the research purpose cannot justify their suffering. Some
animals
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 have died after each trial, either
due to
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 harmful chemicals or injuries.
For instance
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, cosmetic brands test their skin and eye care products on rabbits causing skin and eye irritation.
Therefore
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, it is unnecessary experiments can cause harm to
animals
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. In conclusion,
animals
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 are not humans, so they should be equally respected.
This
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 essay discussed why in today's world, animal experimentation is beneficial, but at the same time
why
Rephrase
apply
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it's a sadistic thing to experiment on them. I
reinstate
Wrong verb form
reinstated
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 that it's vicious to
use
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animals
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 in testing laboratories at the cost of gaining scientific knowledge.
Submitted by dipshikhaa.r on

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Task Response
Task Response: The essay provides a good discussion of both views and the writer's opinion, addressing the task prompt effectively. However, provide a more balanced approach by giving equal weight to each perspective.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a generally clear and organized structure, with identifiable introduction and conclusion. Ensure smoother transition between ideas and paragraphs to enhance overall coherence and cohesion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Animal experimentation
  • Cruelty
  • Ethical dilemmas
  • Medical breakthroughs
  • In vivo testing
  • In vitro testing
  • Bioethics
  • Alternative methods
  • Regulatory oversight
  • Vivisection
  • Animal welfare
  • Pharmacological research
  • Toxicology
  • Clinical trials
  • Moral imperatives
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