The use of mobile phones in public areas is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places, so mobile phones should be banned in the same way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In public areas, using mobile
phones
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considered
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is considered
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to be as antisocial as smoking. It is thought that in certain
places
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, mobile
phones
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should be restricted in the same way as smoking. I totally disagree with
this
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statement because
phones
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are not as dangerous as tobacco
and
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, and
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they are needed to keep in touch with colleagues and relatives. First of all, cigarettes are harmful to smokers and the people surrounding them,
whereas
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smartphones do not harm people standing or sitting close.
In other words
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, banning these gadgets seems illogical as they do not
jeopardize
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jeopardise
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other people's
well being
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well-being
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.
Moreover
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, some prefer to chat or talk in crowded
places
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to feel like part of a community. Others like to read books or listen to music on their
phones
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in the parks or other public
places
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.
For example
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, some mobile applications are used as tour guides
allowing
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, allowing
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foreign tourists to discover popular
places
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in any city.
Furthermore
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, there are cases when a person cannot switch off a mobile phone pending an urgent call from friends, relatives or colleagues. The fact that an individual can be reached at any time eliminates anxiety and makes others calm.
Additionally
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, children should always have smartphones with them in the case of an emergency.
For instance
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, if a kid occasionally becomes lost in a crowded
place
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place,
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parents will be able to find him or her using the phone. In conclusion, I absolutely disagree with the idea of banning mobile
phones
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in certain
areas
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areas,
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as they do not represent the same threat as cigarettes.
In addition
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, they are essential in the case of an emergency as they help to keep in touch.

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task response
State your view clearly in the intro and restate it in the end.
coherence
Put one idea in each paragraph and use link words to join ideas.
language
Add more detail to explain why your ideas matter and check grammar.
strength
Clear position kept through the essay.
strength
Use of examples to support points.
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