IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentage of people working in different sectors in town A and town B in 1960, 2010.

The charts below show the percentage of people working in different sectors in town A and town B in 1960, 2010.
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The pie charts give information about the proportion of
staffs
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staff
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 working in three various departments in
town
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 A and
town
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 B between 1969 and 2010. Looking at the graph, it is immediately obvious that employees who worked in manufacturing increased in both towns during the period shown.
However
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, sales-related jobs were the greatest increase in
town
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 A and
town
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 B.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart of
town
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 A, it can be seen that workers in
manufacturing
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the manufacturing
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 department made up 41
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percent
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per cent
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 which was the largest group.
This
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 was followed by a drop of 21
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 over the
next
Linking Words
 40 years.
Similarly
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, sales-related
occupation
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occupations
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 declined slightly from 30 to 16
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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.
Such
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 a trend was not seen in the figure for the proportion of staff working in services, which increased significantly by 36
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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. Turing to
town
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 B, it is broadly similar to
town
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 A, the most staff were employed in manufacturing.
After
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apply
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40 years later,
this
Linking Words
 figure decreased to 53
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percent
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per cent
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. In 1960, 20 and 10
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percent
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per cent
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 of people worked in sales and services respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there was a gradual rise in the percentage of both those
group
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groups
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 over a period of forty years.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words town, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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