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Band 4

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films, and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

#travel #places #culture #people #books #films #internet
People
 have widely different views on whether
people
 should not spend quality time
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to other
countries
 in order to learn
culture
Add an article
the culture
show examples
. Other
people
 argue that we are able to embrace books, films via the
Internet
.
Personally
Add a comma
,Personally
show examples
 I suppose that I disagree
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
 statement because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the main reasons comprise my essay. We are living in an information age that helps all aspects of our lives
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or to say that the
Internet
 covers almost all the corners of the world.
Therefore
, it is understandable that
people
 think they can learn about
culture
Add an article
the culture
show examples
 of some
countries
 by reading, watching or even using the
Internet
 . It can be convenient and economical for
people
 who could no longer make
efford
Correct your spelling
efforts
afford
 to travel or go overseas. In
this
 day and age, the filmmakers and film producers who have a tendency to integrate cultures from different
countries
 in the films,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
facilitates for
people
 to learn about
this
.
In addition
, they have access to the
Internet
 and find answers for questions or issues that
people
 pay attention to or focus on. On the others, learning through publications,
Internet
, in
away
Correct your spelling
a way
show examples
, cannot efficient and have
adverse
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an adverse
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 bearing on our knowledge as
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 cover most badly news or misinformation news or some information is not sufficient for
people
 to acquire knowledge, which could lead to increase difficulties during
this
 period In terms of travelling, it can be obviously seen that the countless benefits
brings
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bring
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 for our lives. One major advantage of travelling is
people
 can garner life experiences, cultivate practical skills in lieu of learning full theories through newspaper or
Internet
. During the period of
travelling
Add a comma
,travelling
show examples
 you might make new friends which would seem to generate a big circle of relationships across the world. Compare to studying or visualizing via movie
people
 experience and the uniqueness of the culture of different
countries
. Researchers illustrated that travelling to other
countries
 is one of the most efficient ways to broaden horizons and learn a new language as you have to communicate with native speakers every day. As mentioned above, I totally disagree
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
 opinion, travelling is the best way in order to develop your knowledge overwhelmingly and embrace host
countries
Submitted by ngocmai07112000 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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