IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree ? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

#salary #job #satisfaction
It is often said that feeling great at a
job
 is not as important as having a good
salary
, but it is not necessarily true all the time. When
people
 enjoy their
job
 normally they are more motivated in what they do,
that is
 why it is more likely that they progress in it.
On the other hand
, having a big
salary
 allows
people
 to have a lot of things
such
 as houses, travels among others.
First
 of all, receiving a big
salary
 for most
people
 could be an enormous motivation and the most important thing when they are looking for a
job
 offer. With
this
 quantity
Change preposition
of money
show examples
money
Add aย comma
,money
show examples
 they could buy a house for their children, go on vacation to another country, go to restaurants and other luxuries that other
people
 can't do. But
on the other hand
 and normally these
people
 are on high levels of stress and pressure.
However
 when
people
 enjoy what they do and find satisfaction in their
job
 they feel great and normally their progress is more often than the
people
 who do not have it, and progress at the end means more money. Having said that, satisfaction in the workplace is more important than a big
salary
 because
people
 are less stressed out, having a great time and receiving money for that. Even though there are some positive aspects about receiving a big
salary
,
people
 should think more about feeling great about what they do for a living, because probably they could have more opportunities through their professional lives.
Submitted by cortez.damaris on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this siteโ€™s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ ยปโ€” a book that's free for ๐Ÿš€ Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: