IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In britain ,when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them sometimes government should has to pay for this care who do you think should pay for this care ,the government or the families?give reason and include relevant examples

#britain #someone #home #people #nurses #government #care #families #reason
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In developed countries ,
oftenly
Correct your spelling
often
 grey society starts
livibg
Correct your spelling
living
 in old
age
Use synonyms
 home with other older people,where the regimes
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 basic amenities .In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it makes the duty of both government as well as families to look after their
parents
Use synonyms
 when they get old.   There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 numerous reason which
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 support to my opinion.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost ,older people are financially dependent upon someone ,especially when they have no source of income.During
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
,they are physically unfit and unable to do any job ,in
such
Linking Words
 condition they have no other option left ,which could force
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them to live in old
age
Use synonyms
 home.
For instance
Linking Words
 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and Uk like countries,where regimes
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 pension and free medical services to old
age
Use synonyms
 people.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
devotes
Change the verb form
devote
show examples
 their whole life in the upbringing of their offsprings.when the
parents
Use synonyms
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
 old ,they
also
Linking Words
 need physical and emotional support from their family members.
For instance
Linking Words
 in India it is
norm
Add an article
the norm
show examples
 and
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
moral responsibility of the family members to look after their
parents
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
 a survey conducted by UNO in which they revealed 80%of elder citizens living with their families and enjoys the
warm
Replace the word
warmth
show examples
 and love from their family members. To conclude,it makes the duty of families to look after their old
parents
Use synonyms
 and meet their basic necessities .
Neverthless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
 ,
regime
Add an article
the regime
show examples
 should
allocates
Change the verb form
allocate
show examples
 fund and free medical facilities which could help in
makeng
Correct your spelling
making
 them financially independent.
Submitted by Ripan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: