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Band 5.5

The best way to increase road safety is to make car drivers retake their driving test every year. Do you agree or disagree ?

#road #safety #car #drivers #test #year
Some people believe that an annual mandatory driving test will help enhance
road
safety
 considerably.
On the contrary
, I believe that
instead
 of concentrating all the efforts on annual exams, the transport department can work on important factors which can reduce
road
 accidents.
Firstly
, conducting a roadway test of every driver every year involves dedicated efforts from government authorities. In developing countries
such
 as India, which have limited resources, it's not feasible to conduct a yearly examination of all eligible candidates who
are holding
Wrong verb form
hold
show examples
 a valid driving license.
For instance
, officials can focus and spend their limited budgets and efforts
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 improving highway infrastructure which will thereby improve
safety
 measures on
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
. Smart traffic signals, periodic training sessions on
road
safety
,
public
Correct word choice
and public
show examples
 awareness are some of the measures beaurocrats can focus
.
Change preposition
on.
show examples
 One must not forget that driving
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
skill
that is
 difficult to unlearn. It is often compared to cycling & swimming, which as human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 we never forget once learnt.
Hence
 there is practically no need to evaluate driving skills every year. Having said
this
, I do opine that there should be an expiry on a driving license and individuals should be encouraged to take up driving exams for renewal only.
This
 will make sure that people are updated with any new guidelines and
safety
 measures.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 few people might advocate that an annual riding exam will foster freeway
safety
, in my ,opinion it's an over effort for government bodies, which can be easily avoided. They can focus more on other factors impacting
road
safety
, which will eventually benefit society.
Submitted by patkipooja on

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task response
Your essay addresses the prompt by providing a clear opinion and discussing both sides of the argument. Make sure to further develop your main points and provide more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss different aspects of the topic, and a conclusion. Ensure that your ideas are logically connected throughout the essay for better coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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