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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that parents have the most significant influence in a child’s development. However, others say that things like television or friends have the most important influence on them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #influence #child’s #development #television #friends
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According to some people,
parents
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 are the most influential people in a child’s life; others insist that
friends
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 and gadgets like television have a greater impact on them. In my opinion,
parents
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 are certainly important in a child’s life but now
friends
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 and media are becoming even more influential.
Parents
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 are important. After all, they are the
first
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 teacher and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
role model of a child.
Children
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 learn much of the social skills from their
parents
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. In fact, the atmosphere at home plays a crucial role in shaping their character and personality. That
also
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 explains why kids born to successful
parents
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also
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 become successful in their life.
Likewise
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, kids coming from dysfunctional families are more likely to have personality problems. Even so, in
this
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 age of information explosion
parents
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 are becoming less influential. To start with, most
parents
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 are now busy and get to spend only a small amount of
time
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 with their
children
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. Now, the television has assumed the role of the
baby sitter
Correct your spelling
babysitter
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.
Children
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 spend enormous amounts of
time
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 in front of the TV and get influenced by the programmes on it.
Consequently
Linking Words
, their understanding of the world is now shaped more by the programmes they watch on television than by their
parents
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.
Friends
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 are even more influential than gadgets.
Children
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 spend a great deal of
time
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 with their peers at school and outside of it. It is quite natural for them to get influenced by their
friends
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. Every child wants to be popular among their
friends
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. Actually, many
children
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 are willing to even disobey their
parents
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 to impress their
friends
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. To conclude,
parents
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 are
slowing
Replace the word
slowly
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 losing their influence on
children
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 because they do not manage to spend adequate
time
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 with them. Not surprisingly,
friends
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 and gadgets are replacing
parents
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 as the greatest influence on
children
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.
Submitted by linqunxiong on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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