IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
These days, modern companies believe that their devices are making newly in their advertising. There are positive developments
outweigh
Correct pronoun usage
that outweigh
show examples
 any negative
progresses
Change the wording
signs of progress
show examples
 I agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 statement up to a point in
this
 essay I shall put forth my arguments to support my views
Firstly
,
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 marketing step is considerably more income than
old
Add an article
an old
the old
show examples
 method to earn
money
. The reason that modern technologies improve the present publicity which helps to get more profits. New international technology edit video about
product
Add an article
the product
a product
show examples
 to show in public places that people purchase goods. A good illustration of
this
 is that current advertising is successfully putting up
business
Add an article
a business
the business
show examples
 which gives much more chances of starting your business with confidence.
For instance
,
Add a hyphen
twenty-first
show examples
twenty
Add a hyphen
twenty-first
show examples
first
 century shows many publicities around the world and people look at the screen of marketing
then
 buy
this
 product.
Moreover
, buyers become happier and huge companies bring in
money
.
On the other hand
, there is an argument that marketing cost more expensive than past advertising. Due to publicity create with modern devices, technology and gadget are costly that firms and
corporation
Fix the agreement mistake
corporations
show examples
 cannot pay much
money
 for creating
Add an article
an advertisement
show examples
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
. For the reasons mentioned above, I believe that current advertising
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
 newly video editing about products. There are more pros than any cons which helps to obtain much more
money
Submitted by nurlan32 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
What to do next:
Look at other essays: