IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
These days, modern companies believe that their devices are making newly in their advertising. There are positive developments
outweigh
Correct pronoun usage
that outweigh
show examples
 any negative
progresses
Change the wording
signs of progress
show examples
 I agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement up to a point in
this
Linking Words
 essay I shall put forth my arguments to support my views
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
,
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 marketing step is considerably more income than
old
Add an article
an old
the old
show examples
 method to earn
money
Use synonyms
. The reason that modern technologies improve the present publicity which helps to get more profits. New international technology edit video about
product
Add an article
the product
a product
show examples
 to show in public places that people purchase goods.
Body paragraph 2
A good illustration of
this
Linking Words
 is that current advertising is successfully putting up
business
Add an article
a business
the business
show examples
 which gives much more chances of starting your business with confidence.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Body paragraph 3
Add a hyphen
twenty-first
show examples
twenty
Add a hyphen
twenty-first
show examples
first
Linking Words
 century shows many publicities around the world and people look at the screen of marketing
then
Linking Words
 buy
this
Linking Words
 product.
Moreover
Linking Words
, buyers become happier and huge companies bring in
money
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 4
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is an argument that marketing cost more expensive than past advertising.
Body paragraph 5
Due to publicity create with modern devices, technology and gadget are costly that firms and
corporation
Fix the agreement mistake
corporations
show examples
 cannot pay much
money
Use synonyms
 for creating
Add an article
an advertisement
show examples
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
.
Conclusion
For the reasons mentioned above, I believe that current advertising
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
 newly video editing about products. There are more pros than any cons which helps to obtain much more
money
Use synonyms

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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