Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

It is undeniable that
people
try to avoid stressful situations in their lives, whereas there is no
secrecy
Replace the word
secret
show examples
that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can prone them to high achievements.
Although
, there are merits and demerits of
this
statement, in my opinion, the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, by nature,
people
try to abstain from any uncomfortable situations. If they live in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
normal living conditions, they feel needless to do something more.
Also
, it is not a secret that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
individuals may have difficulties
to leave
Change the verb form
leaving
show examples
their comfort zones and commence to work for self-improvement.
For instance
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of
people
who have all vital conditions, prefer to pass their time to unwind
instead
of being
in
Change preposition
under
show examples
stress to learn something new.
On the other hand
, it is mandatory to be in mental shape, to be precise, being active in different areas of
life
to achieve great things. There are myriad examples of
people
who
finally
abandoned their comfort zones which worked miracles in their lives, cementing their position as a status symbol and sign of human perfection.
For example
, Elon Mask, worked so hard to turn his plans into reality, that, he is considered as one of the most known innovators and greatest minds of current times.
Moreover
, challenging yourself, to improve
life
enables you to undergo
immense
Add an article
an immense
show examples
personal experience that will motivate you for the rest of your
life
.
Therefore
, there is no doubt that to reach something, you should work hard. In conclusion, being motivated to achieve goals and change
life
to perfect
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
is the goal of
life
. Challenges get better our skills and there is
invaluable
Add an article
an invaluable
show examples
experience which distinguishes us from animals.
Submitted by zarifa.radjabova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: