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Band 4.5

Pollution and other environmental damages are caused by a country developing and becoming richer. This problem cannot be avoided. To what extent do you agree?

#pollution #damages #country
Today we live in
a
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an
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 era of continuously affecting
environment
Add an article
the environment
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. It is irrefutable that careless behaviour by the citizens
are
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is
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 just focusing on getting richer without prioritising the
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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distruction
Correct your spelling
destruction
 due to
pollution
. I strongly agree with the given statement and many steps can be taken to improve the current situation.
This
 essay would shed light on the valid standpoints in the subsequent paragraph. The
first
 and foremost reason for the increase in
pollution
 is maximum people in the society using private vehicles
instead
 of public transportation benefits provided to each
citizens
Change to a singular noun
citizen
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. To encourage, public transportation the government should educate people by spreading awareness about the harm the individuals are causing to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Mother Earth by emitting dangerous gases and polluting the environment. To exemplify, in a survey it has been concluded that 80% of the Indian population is
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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in traffic jams for hours creating noise and air
pollution
.
Secondly
, the growth of consumerism in today's world is at
the
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its
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 height and industrialism is leading in the cause of environmental damage, the waste material produced after the manufacturing a product is left out in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature being a
non biodegradable
Add a hyphen
non-biodegradable
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 material it develops into a dangerous form on the landfills which might be intake by animals and birds.
For example
, according to a research report, it is found that the textile industry of Surat, Gujarat is throwing its dead used or waste products out in
river
Correct article usage
the river
show examples
 through a tunnel which is resulting in
pollution
. These problems can not be avoided as it is disturbing the harmony and government must take several steps in educating our
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 by creating campaign and we as
a
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an
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 individual can volunteer and spread awareness in order to protect our nature. In the final
recokning
Correct your spelling
reckoning
.I tend to reiterate that everything has its own significance, nothing
cannot
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can
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 be ignored. Keeping
our nations development
Change to a genitive case
the development of our nation
our nation's development
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 in mind we must focus on protecting our
mother land
Correct your spelling
motherland
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 rather
then
Replace the word
than
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 aiming just
being
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to be
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 rich.
Submitted by prachi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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