IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #graphs #show #enrolments #students #australian #universities #ten #year #period #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These graphs, recorded overseas and local
students
Use synonyms
 respectively, show the change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 in
Australian
Use synonyms
universities
Use synonyms
 from 2001 to 2010. About
oversears
Correct your spelling
overseas
overseers
students
Use synonyms
, in 2001, there are nearly 20000 overseas
students
Use synonyms
 totally in
Australian
Use synonyms
universities
Use synonyms
, where nearly 10000 of them were commencing
students
Use synonyms
. The total and commencing
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 increasing year by year
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
 speed. In 2009, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of total
students
Use synonyms
 in
Australian
Use synonyms
universities
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 close to 80000 and the
commencing
Correct quantifier usage
number of commencing
show examples
students
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 nearly 40000. In 2010, the speeds of the increasing
number
Use synonyms
 both slow down. The
number
Use synonyms
 of total
students
Use synonyms
just
Add a missing verb
was just
show examples
 plus 1000-2000 and the
number
Use synonyms
 of commencing
students
Use synonyms
 was less than 1000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, about the
number
Use synonyms
local
Change preposition
of local
show examples
students
Use synonyms
. In 2001, there are nearly 400000
students
Use synonyms
 in
Australian
Use synonyms
universities
Use synonyms
 and 200000 of them
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
commencing
students
Use synonyms
. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
commerncing
Correct your spelling
commencing
students
Use synonyms
 varied
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 200000
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 in the
next
Linking Words
 ten
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
. Meanwhile, the
number
Use synonyms
 of total
studetns
Correct your spelling
students
was increase
Change the verb form
was increased
was increasing
show examples
 to 600000 in 2007
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and seemed
kept
Change the verb form
to keep
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same level
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
after three years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total
number
Use synonyms
 of university
students
Use synonyms
 in Australia increased from 2001 to 2010. The total
number
Use synonyms
 of local
students
Use synonyms
 was more than the
overseas
Correct quantifier usage
number of overseas
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 period.
Submitted by huangjiancong863 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, number, australian, universities with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 8 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrolments
  • trend
  • peak
  • trough
  • comparative analysis
  • surpassed
  • dominant
  • fluctuations
  • stability
  • growth
  • decline
  • significant
  • notable
  • shift
  • influence
  • predict
  • impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: