Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes, many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As we know, many health issues
cause
Wrong verb form
are caused
show examples
excessive
Change preposition
by excessive
show examples
usage of sugary
productions
Replace the word
products
show examples
, and It relates to the high
sugar
Use synonyms
content of
products
Use synonyms
we use
daily
Change preposition
in daily
show examples
life. I believe that increasing the price of
products
Use synonyms
cannot reduce
sugar
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, supporters of
this
Linking Words
statement claim that the high price of sticky profits can prevent them from unhealthy usage. It means that they would avoid expensive additional
products
Use synonyms
to reduce household
consumption
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
view leads to two choices, including either
to buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
big-budget unhealthy foods or cheaper healthy foodstuffs.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study has shown that parents reduce
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
candies
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their children because of high-cost
products
Use synonyms
containing
sugar
Use synonyms
in Great Britain.
However
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
this
Linking Words
scheme is being implemented. It pushes people to extra
sugar
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
their food which is the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
many diseases.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, realizing the harm of
this
Linking Words
kind of usage
rather
Add a missing verb
is rather
show examples
effective than enlarging
productions
Fix the agreement mistake
production
show examples
with
sugar
Use synonyms
. There are several examples that even though many companies make high-priced
products
Use synonyms
, there is no reduction in sugary
consumption
Use synonyms
. Especially, in children purchasing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
high-
sugar
Use synonyms
content soft drinks and sweet candies is doubled in Australia.
According to
Linking Words
real situations, it can make a worse than ever. In conclusion,
however
Linking Words
, a high tax on
products
Use synonyms
that consist of
sugar
Use synonyms
components may be considered one of the good plans to force excessive candy
consumption
Use synonyms
. I firmly believe that giving more information about
using
Rephrase
how using
show examples
candied profits affects our health system is probably the best way to decrease unhealthy food choices.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: