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Band 4.5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future.Such as those related to science and technology.

#people #university #students #study #subjects #future #science #technology
Now in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 era,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 a vast difficult decision to choose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
subjects
 for their
future
. Most people
reflects
Change the verb form
reflect
show examples
 that the graduation going
students
 should opt
subjects
 which are of their interest while
in contrast
 some supports that they should
study
 only those
subjects
 which will be functional in
future
.
This
 essay will argue that what
college
students
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been
learn
Change the verb form
learning
learned
show examples
 for their profession. numerous people have
strong
Add an article
a strong
the strong
show examples
 opinion that University
students
 should
study
 whatever they want to learn.
However
, by
this
approach
Add a comma
,approach
show examples
 the learners can
study
 with full zest and zeal due to their high passion
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
subjects
 their outcomes will be proficient. Despite
this
, the
college
students
 become more competent because of their confidence in their
subjects
 that urge
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 lock horns in the competition. Meanwhile their concentration and motivation level will be far beyond.
Hence
 by learning their own
subjects
 it will lead to boost the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
 morale which results in
in
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
future
 they can be capable to achieve their targets.
For instance
, if a
college going
Add a hyphen
college-going
show examples
 student
wish
Change the verb form
wishes
show examples
 to
study
 tourism
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if he
continue
Change the verb form
continues
show examples
 his passion through studies , he will definitely be a good tourist guide in
future
.
This
 all would be possible to set them free to chose their interests. Despite , fewer people have
view
Add an article
a view
the view
show examples
 that the
graduation
Replace the word
graduate
show examples
students
 should prefer the
subjects
 which
wil
Correct your spelling
will
 be helpful in the coming years in regards to science and technology. they think that the individual
future
 is only based on recommended
subjects
.
For instance
, if anyone in the family is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 engineer and having a good income so, humans
assumes
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assume
show examples
 only in that way their carrier is best meanwhile,
other
Change the wording
another
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 sibling is forced to
study
 the same .Henceforth, the authorities should make the compulsory
subjects
 in the universities by
this
 they have to
study
 those
subjects
.
THIS
 ESSAY ARGUED THAT THE
COLLEGE
 GOING
STUDENTS
 WHO ARE FREE TO ADOPT THE
SUBJECTS
 OF THEIR OWN CHOICE, they perform better in studies and happy.
in contrast
 to
this
these
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who
are forcefully choose
Change the verb form
forcefully choose
show examples
 the
subjects
 are stressed and unhappy. In my opinion, the
graduation
Replace the word
graduate
show examples
students
 should be allowed to choose the
subjects
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own so, in
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
 they would be a successful
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Submitted by bhajan.verma on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
What to do next:
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