Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, video games and other entertainment for children's leisure. How does this affect the children? How do you think this problem can be tackled?

#parents #level #violence #tv #video #games #entertainment #children #leisure #affect

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Some

parents

are not happy

for

Change preposition

with

show examples

children

who are spending long hours

for

Change preposition

show examples

video games,TV and other media which

consists

Change the verb form

consist

show examples

of violence.

This

is a serious issue

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

parents

and

teachers

tackle together to prevent bad consequences for

children

's bright and beautiful future.

Firstly

,we need to find out what types of video games and TV entertainment made

children

addicted to these inappropriate series.

For example

,if

children

who are under five years always crave

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

video games about

serial

Add an article

a serial

the serial

show examples

killer

Fix the agreement mistake

killers

show examples

parents

should limit the spending period .Time out system is

Change the article

apply

show examples

really effective for

children

to understand the reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

restrictions and good for their insight into reality.

Secondly

children

need to enjoy other entertainment

such

as painting,reading and gardening for their leisure.The more activities they can choose,the better for their physical and mental illness.Sports and gymnastics

Change the verb form

are

show examples

the best to improve their level of body and mind fitness.School lessons and homework are

also

necessary to lead them in a disciplined discussion which is

two way

Add a hyphen

two-way

show examples

communication between

teachers

and pupils.

Thirdly

,peer pressure is one key factor

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

dominate

Change the verb form

dominates

show examples

their mind that most of their friends play

this

violent game and he cannot resist watching

this

programme.In

this

case,

parents

and

teachers

often need to communicate

such

as regular school assessment of childrens' fitness in class. In conclusion,

children

will be the precious gems for

country

Correct article usage

the country

show examples

and community so if they become more violent , less wise and mindful,

this

is a huge loss for all of us.If

parents

and

teachers

really love their

children

,punishment with reward method is

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good interaction in order to reduce the worse conditions which

children

can absorb in

this

violence.

Submitted by myamonyee on Wed Jul 07 2021

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

270 words

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Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, video games and other entertainment for children's leisure. How does this affect the children? How do you think this problem can be tackled?

Your opinion

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of thus trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that manufactures and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Nowadays genetically modified food is widespread all over the world. While proponents of GM. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of GM food.

Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people think that the government should spend money to explore the outer space, while others believe that it’s a waste of public money. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.