Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, video games and other entertainment for children's leisure. How does this affect the children? How do you think this problem can be tackled?

#parents #level #violence #tv #video #games #entertainment #children #leisure #affect

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Some

parents

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are not happy

for

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with

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children

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who are spending long hours

for

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show examples

video games,TV and other media which

consists

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consist

show examples

of violence.

This

Linking Words

is a serious issue

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

and

teachers

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tackle together to prevent bad consequences for

children

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's bright and beautiful future.

Firstly

Linking Words

,we need to find out what types of video games and TV entertainment made

children

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addicted to these inappropriate series.

For example

Linking Words

,if

children

Use synonyms

who are under five years always crave

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

video games about

serial

Add an article

a serial

the serial

show examples

killer

Fix the agreement mistake

killers

show examples

parents

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should limit the spending period .Time out system is

Change the article

apply

show examples

really effective for

children

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to understand the reason

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for

show examples

restrictions and good for their insight into reality.

Secondly

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

need to enjoy other entertainment

such

Linking Words

as painting,reading and gardening for their leisure.The more activities they can choose,the better for their physical and mental illness.Sports and gymnastics

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are

show examples

the best to improve their level of body and mind fitness.School lessons and homework are

also

Linking Words

necessary to lead them in a disciplined discussion which is

two way

Add a hyphen

two-way

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communication between

teachers

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and pupils.

Thirdly

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,peer pressure is one key factor

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

dominate

Change the verb form

dominates

show examples

their mind that most of their friends play

this

Linking Words

violent game and he cannot resist watching

this

Linking Words

programme.In

this

Linking Words

case,

parents

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and

teachers

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often need to communicate

such

Linking Words

as regular school assessment of childrens' fitness in class. In conclusion,

children

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will be the precious gems for

country

Correct article usage

the country

show examples

and community so if they become more violent , less wise and mindful,

this

Linking Words

is a huge loss for all of us.If

parents

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and

teachers

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really love their

children

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,punishment with reward method is

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good interaction in order to reduce the worse conditions which

children

Use synonyms

can absorb in

this

Linking Words

violence.

Submitted by myamonyee on Wed Jul 07 2021

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

270 words

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Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, video games and other entertainment for children's leisure. How does this affect the children? How do you think this problem can be tackled?

Your opinion

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others belleve it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults who commit crimes. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Once children start school, teachers have more influence than parents on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?