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Band 6

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #age #groups #information #websites #risks
Nowadays,
website
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the website
a website
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 is rapidly changing the lives of people around the world and creating
high
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a high
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 demand for all different levels of people in society.
In contrast
,
website
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a website
the website
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 can create issues if
usage
Replace the word
users
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use
Change the verb form
uses
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 it in undue ways. I strongly agree the cons outweigh the
bons
Correct your spelling
bonus
bones
. The following paragraph
discuss
Change the verb form
discusses
show examples
 both advantage and disadvantages and reach a reasonable conclusion.
To begin
 with, social media is more useful and beneficial in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of gaining information and become more accessible as well for many users
such
 as
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
,
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
, and
researcher
Fix the agreement mistake
researchers
show examples
. To illustrate more, teachers have magnificent tools to use
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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during class time and that can help to deliver the ideas more clearly.
Moreover
,
commutation
Correct your spelling
computation
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 plays a vital role for surfers and encourage them to explore their target either to find
better
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a better
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 job or build up great connection with cooperator for trade purposes.
Furthermore
, the internet all user to buy many goods through the internet, based that, consumers have
power
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the power
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 to evaluate products and choose from
variety
Add an article
a variety
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 of
website
 can display
this
 with reasonable price.
For instance
, customers add their comments on the products to help commercial companies to improve their services and apply
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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in
Change preposition
at
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good
Correct article usage
a good
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 price.
On the other hand
, others believe that
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
 can damage kids’ mentality. To clarify, it is easy for them to spend more than 3 hours without any break. As result,
this
 is reflected
how
Change preposition
in how
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 they become likely addicted. Parents have full
responsibly
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responsibility
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 to guides their youngsters and limit their time by useful activities like excise, football, and basketball. In conclusion, after analyzing both
side
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sides
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 of
this
 topic it is not hard to see that the advantages exceed the disadvantages. Social media enhanced consumers to connect more to have great access to information and more
communicate
Replace the word
communication
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 with others.
Submitted by yahyagamal2010 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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