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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as offices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion on which side you favor

#countries #laws #tobacco #buildings #offices #restaurants #intention #arguments #debate #conclusion #side #favor
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Nowadays, some country's government has approved the tobacco
law
Use synonyms
 that smokers
shouldn
Correct your spelling
should
't
smoke
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public places namely work, restaurant, and school.
However
Linking Words
, the issue is not entirely
straight
Change the word
straightforward
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forward
Rephrase
apply
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other
countries
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have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not the purpose of making
this
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. In the following paragraphs, I shall consider both sides of
this
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 very topical debate. On the one hand, some
countries
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
are concern
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concern
Replace the word
concerned
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 that the regulation will violate human rights,
also
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 everyone has the right to do anything that an individual prefers to do, and one of them is to
smoke
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 in public areas.
This
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 seems that these
countries
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' citizens think that their right to
smoke
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 is more important than others' right to be healthy. Another argument is who opposite
law
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 that the benefit coming from the sales of cigarettes makes up most of the state budget, so if they forbade people to
smoke
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, it would destroy their economy.
For instance
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: Cuba has been globally famous for cigarettes and exports its product to many other
countries
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;
this
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 results in their surges economy.
By contrast
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,
countries
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 which adhere
in
Change preposition
to
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 anti-smoking
law
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 has reduced exposure to secondhand
smoke
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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results
Wrong verb form
resulting
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 in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 number of health problems
are decreased
Verb problem
apply
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such
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 as heart disease and lung cancer. There is some evidence that the number of heart attacks has been reduced in Singapore and Canada by adopting
smoke
Use synonyms
-free workplace laws.
In addition
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, employees who are considerably addicted to cigarettes negatively affect job productivity long-term, losing
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 time
due to
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smoke
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 breaks and absenteeism.
For example
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, there is
universal
Correct article usage
a universal
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 consensus that smokers
Add a verb
are
were
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less productive than a nonsmoker.
Finally
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, it appears that the restriction
also
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 decreases costs, that if
countries
Use synonyms
comprehensive
Add a missing verb
have comprehensive
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smoke
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-free indoor air policies, the company's cleaning,
Correct word choice
and maintenance
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maintenance
Correct word choice
and maintenance
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 expenses would be downed. In conclusion, I agree that
this
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law
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 can indeed be a valuable activity,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
improving health,
Correct word choice
and
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productivity and,
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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company
Correct article usage
the company
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's profit.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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