IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
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Many organizations asked
the
Correct article usage
apply
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employees to
dress
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 smartly.
However
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, the importance of
dress
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 codes in the workplace is debatable.
This
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 essay will discuss why the
quality
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 of
work
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 outweighs the
appearance
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.
First
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, the organizations require the staff to
dress
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 smartly
Correct your spelling
in order
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inorder
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in order
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 to
crete
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create
 a serious and
profession
Replace the word
professional
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 image
to
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for
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 the
customers
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.
For example
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, since lawyers are dealing with serious issues,
customers
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 always need more
confident
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confidence
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to
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in
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 the lawyers they hired.
Therefore
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 lawyers used to wear
the
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apply
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suits in order to give a professional and confident image to the clients. Not just the professional occupations,
dress
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 smart is
also
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 important to the essential services. Another example is customer service providers, they cannot
dress
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too
Change preposition
in too
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fashion
Replace the word
fashionable
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 which might leads the
customers
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think
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to think
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 they are not working seriously and not willing to trust them. Smart dressing is one of the criteria that people define whether the person is professional or not.
However
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, is everyone who
dress
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 smart
means
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mean
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 they are professional? I
sincerly
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sincerely
 doubt
with
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apply
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that. There are more criteria to evaluate the employee where
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quality
Add an article
the quality
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 of
work
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 seems to be the
first
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 priority.
Appearance
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 doesn't provide the qualification of a person. Even the doctors
dress
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 casual, their experience and knowledge still
exsist
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exist
exists
.
In contrast
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,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 with the smart dressing, if they are not trained up to
work
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 perfectly, they are still not the medical experts.
Also
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, employers would only promote a staff because of their
work
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instead
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 of their
appearance
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 as the
quality
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 of
work
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 affects the
furture
Correct your spelling
future
 of the
organizaton
Correct your spelling
organization
 rather than the outlook of the staff.
Hence
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, the
quality
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 of
work
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 should be the only criteria the organization should look into. In my opinion, it is true that
smart
Correct article usage
a smart
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appearance
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 gains the customer's
turst
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trust
,
however
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, without
the
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apply
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good
quality
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 output,
customers
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 are not satisfied with just
smart
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a smart
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appearance
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. It's obvious
thw
Correct your spelling
the
that
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quality
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the quality
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 of
work
Use synonyms
 outweighs the outlook of the employees.
Submitted by kikobling93 on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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