many universities graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession. what factors may have caused this situation and what in your opinion should be done about it?

#universities #graduates #job #profession #factors #situation

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The development of technology devices

such

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computers

Use synonyms

lead to an increase in the number of children makes use of it.

Although

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there is an argument that spending most of the time on

computers

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can pose a detrimental impact on

Add an article

the youngster

a youngster

show examples

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

, I strongly believe that it is beneficial and no harmful to

adolescent

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adolescents

show examples

. I will thoroughly present my view in the following part.

First

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of all, it is undeniable that the merits of

Use synonyms

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

provide for

teenager

Fix the agreement mistake

teenagers

show examples

are really enormous. As a high-tech tool,

computers

Use synonyms

can bring an ideal education atmosphere for

Add an article

the youngster

a youngster

show examples

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

For example

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,they easily do some research about some particular things which are still mysterious

Moreover

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, children can find more intriguing videos on youtube or any kind of entertainment website which help them expand their own knowledge horizon in

this

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little world.

In addition

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, the variety of sources on the internet is

also

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a useful weapon for them especially for those who are eager to explore the unknown on

this

Linking Words

planet. It is widely proved and accepted by both parents and teachers

On the other hand

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, the negative effect of

computers

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is something unavoidable. Most

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children spend their time playing

computer

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games or watching movies on the internet which lead to some bad consequences

such

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as lose interest in the study and they can easily get disease-related optical problems.

Furthermore

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, they can

also

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lose their interaction and connection with their family members, friends and some other close-knit relationships. Using the

computer

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for many hours can

also

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affect both physical and mental issues which cause some negative repercussions in a long run. In conclusion, there are always both sides to every problem in

this

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world and using a

computer

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is not an unacceptance.

However

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, from my view, I always believe that the merits of a

computer

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outweigh its demerits.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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many universities graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession. what factors may have caused this situation and what in your opinion should be done about it?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

It is important for people to take risks both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages.

In the 21st century, many companies allow their employees to work from home. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people believe that we should not use animals as testing materials for human beings because this is too cruel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that physical strength is more important fi for success in sport, while others think that mental strength is mort important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion .