IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as the resources are limited. While others think we can use as much as we want. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Water
Use synonyms
 is an utmost important natural resource gifted by nature to humankind.
While
Linking Words
 a few
people
Use synonyms
 think that freshwater consumption to be controlled with stringent rules by the government, others think that it should be available for
people
Use synonyms
 as much as they
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
 to use. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both views in detail and provide my supporting examples to prove
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 former statement takes precedence. There are two reasons for the supporters to believe that freshwater availability should be abundant for the common
people
Use synonyms
. First of all, freshwater is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 basic necessity for humans for daily activities and to be provided free of cost. Different purposes,
for instance
Linking Words
, like drinking, washing clothes, bathing,
Correct your spelling
etc.
etcetera
Punctuation problem
etcetera,
show examples
 are the minimum amenities for every individual, without which they cannot survive. Adding to
this
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, they feel that governments should make sure
the
Correct article usage
that
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 rainwater harvesting pits
to be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 constructed at
required
Correct article usage
the required
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 places to increase groundwater availability during the rainy season. The average rainfall recorded in India,
for instance
Linking Words
, during the
last
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 academic year was 76% which is way higher than the previous years, but could not be stored by governments
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of storage bodies.
On the contrary
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, the others, including me, think that strong policies should govern
people
Use synonyms
 in the right direction to use
water
Use synonyms
 in a limited way to save it for future generations.
Due to
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 the lack of proper
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
governance
pure
Punctuation problem
, pure
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 facilities are enjoyed by only the richer communities, leaving the poor
people
Use synonyms
 in
thrust
Use the right word
the dust
show examples
. Many independent gated communities,
for example
Linking Words
, are never bothered about it, as they are consuming 77% of
Use synonyms
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
 in Hyderabad city
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 per the statistics of the renowned News channel.
Apart from
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this
Linking Words
, the misconsumption of
this
Linking Words
 natural resource is another reason for
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. Many resorts and hotels,
for instance
Linking Words
, are using Millions of Gallons in games and swimming pools for recreation and entertainment purposes. In conclusion, many
people
Use synonyms
 think that freshwater delivery to be controlled by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government policies,
while
Linking Words
 others think that they should not charge any amount to use it. I completely opine that local government should closely monitor its usage as it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 basic necessity for everyone and to be shared
between
Rephrase
equally between
show examples
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
 and
rich
Correct article usage
the rich
show examples
 with equality.

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task response
State your clear view in the intro and keep it in the end to show your answer is full.
coherence
Plan your essay so each paragraph has one main idea and a simple link to the next.
coherence
Use short, clear link words to move from idea to idea.
content
Give one clear example for each point and say why it matters.
structure
End with a short, clear conclusion that restates your view.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar so the reading is easy.
content
The writer tries to show both sides and has a view at the end.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion.
content
Some examples are used to back ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • government intervention
  • resource management
  • water scarcity
  • water conservation
  • equitable distribution
  • water wastage
  • efficient usage
  • individual freedom
  • economic growth
  • industrial needs
  • agricultural demands
  • personal viewpoint
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