Some people think job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others think that people cannot be expected to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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It has been proven that working for an organisation to earn money by providing services is a basic responsibility of every individual.
While
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a few public think that job satisfaction is an utmost important criterion, others think that having a secured position for the entire life is the highest priority. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both views and provide my reasons why the former
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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takes precedence
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while
Correct word choice
when
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choosing a profession. The supporters who think that the security of
profession
Correct article usage
the profession
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is on top priority, have several reasons to back it up. First of all, to support the monthly
economical
Correct word choice
economic
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expenses of the entire family in
this
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fast-paced life, they absolutely need a monthly fixed income. Many of them are planning to secure a government career,
for instance
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, to make sure their effort is guaranteed for life
long
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apply
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with monthly income,
moreover
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, with the pension amount after retirement. Adding to
this
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, the majority of society feels that the stress levels of these working professionals are very
less
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low
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, which will save them from many health issues like Diabetes. Statistics of India shows,
for example
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, that only 2 per cent of
the
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apply
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government office workers are falling sick
due to
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work tensions, which is not the case
of
Change preposition
for
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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private worker whose job is always at risk.
On the contrary
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, people who believe
in
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that
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work comfort is important at the workplace, including me, have genuine reasons to support the decision. a task
that is
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close to heart and performed with fun and high involvement will have high productivity at the workplace. An employee who works with happiness,
for instance
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, never
count
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counts
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office hours to deliver the outcome, indeed they deliver more than the required.
Apart from
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this
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, employers who have concentrated on employee satisfaction have achieved success in their organisational visions, as professionals are committed and goals aligned. An interesting fact behind Google's success is employee satisfaction,
for instance
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, they have declared to pay lifetime salaries to the wives of the employees who died
due to
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the recent
Covid
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
attack. In conclusion,
While
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some people agree that the security of the profession is an important factor, others feel that work enjoyment in an organisation tops the list of important aspects. I honestly think that the latter statement of the previous argument should be considered
while
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choosing a job, as it improves the relationships between people and interest in
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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to deliver beyond the needs.
Submitted by eshwar10882 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and fulfill their purpose. However, the structure of the essay could be improved to enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant ideas on both views, but there are some issues related to task achievement. The response could be more comprehensive and focused on addressing all aspects of the task.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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