Children often fill their leisure time to play, either traditional sport or technology-based business. Is it true that kids having the opportunity to access high-tech game devices will get a multitude of benefits? Some
communityFix the agreement mistake
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claim that computerized
might be detrimental for young age groups. I personally believe that the negative impacts of electronic
outweigh the positive effects for the following reasons.
of all, psychology experts consider that elementary
students who have accessed to a Play Station and used more than
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half of their day to play are tend to have a myriad of issues regarding their mental health.
, the Xbox is very deleterious for young people psychological development.
, when a 7 years old prefer to connect with
onlineAdd an article
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game after his class over, they will only focus to their gadget screen and do not deem to be aware what other people do in
surroundingAdd an article
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.
kind of activity might absorb their energy so much.
, they experience
exhaustedReplace the word
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, depression or anxiety, particularly if they stop to detach
inChange preposition
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their computer before they win the competition.
Another point to consider is the more youngster enjoy their match while playing
a Correct the article-noun agreement
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, the greater their desire to access it and ignore to do their homework.
is because they feel no longer attach
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stuffsChange the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
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as their game tools are more attractive comparing to books and academic lessons.
, not many parents
conciousAdd a missing verb
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withChange preposition
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current situation.
, when their daughter or son
comeChange the verb form
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home from
, they assume that their juvenile will
go to their study room to conduct the
works. Meanwhile, what
youngCorrect article usage
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generation
needFix the agreement mistake
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is
and relaxation after the busy schedule and a boring learning system.
In conclusion,
many
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believeChange the verb form
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that
have positive impacts
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children
mental-healthCorrect your spelling
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and do not have any influence
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their
educationReplace the word
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performance, I still consider that the drawbacks outweigh
benefitsCorrect article usage
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as the technology-based
disturb kids mental well-being and interfere
theirChange preposition
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focus
toChange preposition
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schooling process.