Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small and local businesses are unable to compete.Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Globalisation and industrialisation brought
Change the article

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word immense.

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immense change in
Fix the agreement mistake

It seems that business may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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expansion. Some
believe that it is the existence of local communities. According to my point of ,
Add a comma

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase According to my point of ,view. Consider adding a comma.

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it's not totally disappearing of locals market but
are affecting somehow the local shops.
of all,
are having lack of time because of their tight schedule so they gave much preference to buy anything from
rather than any local shop.
lure their customers by giving a lot of
Fix the agreement mistake

It seems that scheme may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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like buy one ,get one or a lot more so public run behind desperately these kinds of schemes.
are combined
Change preposition

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a lot of other services like cinema,food courts and playroom
is a great beneficial part of any business when
can not stop them to go and buy another beyond benefits. In local ,businesses
have a limited stock not having varieties as
are having so
that is
another reason when
are running great rather than local businesses. In conclusion, overall it can be observed that
are the
priority in
's choice but it doesn't mean that local communities are dying. It can say that they are
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The word danger doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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but not existent.
Submitted by khushirandhawa147 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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