Some people think that hobbies should be linked with technology, while others believes that it is not necessary for hobbies to be involved with technology. Discuss what is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and give relevant examples from your experience.

#people #hobbies #technology

In today's

world

, it is believed by some part of the population that hobbies should be somehow related to

technologies

while others disagree with

this

opinion. I think that

this

statement is incorrect and a give

nessay

Correct your spelling

essay

will discuss possible evidence for

this

First

of all,

to begin

with, the

min

Correct your spelling

main

show examples

reason why a given idea is false is that all people are different and everyone's preferences differ.

This

is because oft

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

fact that not do hobbies mean something

that is

pleasent

Correct your spelling

pleasant

pleasing

for a person and is considered to be a joyful pastime but

also

not all humans are interested in

technologies

Therefore

, if not everyone is capable to cope with

gadjets

Correct your spelling

gadgets

gadget

this

does not mean that they are forced to do it against their desire.

For example

, recent research has

show

Change the verb form

shown

show examples

that only 2% of all human beings are genuinely fond of technological development.

Moreover

, another cause why it is not essential to have a hobby linked to technology is that in

this

case there will be no variety in

this

world

and no

creqativity

Correct your spelling

creativity

Thsi

Correct your spelling

This

is due to the fact that not only will all people concentrate on

technologies

but

also

there will be

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

artistic humans and those who prefer different activities.

Hence

Correct your spelling

tmay

Correct your spelling

may

it may

lead to a period of stasis if

only

Add an article

the only

an only

show examples

Correct article usage

the technological

show examples

technological

Replace the word

technical

show examples

aspect of the

world

will be developing while others will remain the same.

For instance

, scientists claim that not only understanding of

technologies

is valuable in a modern

world

since without art and creativity nothing would be developed. Eventually, to conclude, in my

opinion

Add the comma(s)

,opinion

show examples

hobbies do not

hav

Correct your spelling

have

rto

Correct your spelling

be linked to

technologies

since,

firstly

, not everyone is eager to learn them and,

secondly

, other spheres and disciplines are equally important for

this

world

Submitted by veronika-glinka on Tue Jul 20 2021

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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