Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The word leisure means free
time
. It is very difficult to find sometimes for yourself once you start working or
burdened
Add a missing verb
are burdened

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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with many responsibilities. Every single person is different in
this
world and they have different ways to relax themselves every once in a while. I like to have my free
time
alone in a calm place where
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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can relax and ignore the world for a moment, whereas some people like to indulge in activities that train their mind and body. We
wil
Correct your spelling
will

The word wil is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition about seems unecessary after the verb discuss. Consider removing the preposition.

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both kinds of people and their leisure
time
. The person who likes activities are always full of energy and they cannot sit around in one place. It is a good way to connect yourself to your
hoobies
Correct your spelling
hobbies

The word hoobies is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

like trekking or attending a seminar that
help
Change the verb form
helps

The plural verb help does not appear to agree with the singular subject a seminar. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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you learn a new skill.
For instance
, a friend of mine thinks that her day will be wasted if she spends it at home doing nothing.
Than
Replace the word
Then

The word Than may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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there are people like me who
likes
Change the verb form
like

The verb likes does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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doing nothing on their holidays. I simply believe one should just relax and do whatever I feel like but by staying at home. I love reading a book or playing games or spend
time
with my family. It is a personal choice and if someone judges me for it
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the word than. Consider removing it.

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than
Replace the word
then

The word than may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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its
Replace the word
it's
it is

It appears that the possessive pronoun its should be a contraction instead. Consider changing it.

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their problem
not
Add the comma(s)
,not

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the negative appositive not mine. Consider adding the comma(s).

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mine.
This
things
Change the determiner
thing

It appears that the singular demonstrative This is modifying the plural noun things. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

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gives me the boost to bounce back for the hectic work week ahead.
Thus
to conclude the discussion, I think at the end of the day, you are allowed to do what gives you peace of mind and if involving yourself in activities works for a person,
than
Replace the word
then

The word than may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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he/she should not be judged for it and the same goes
other
Change the wording
another

The adjective other appears to be modifying the singular noun way. Consider making a change.

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way around as well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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