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Writing Samples
Band 3

Participation by 5 to 14-year-olds in selected leisure activities in Australia

#participation #leisure #activities #australia
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The bar graph compares the percentage of participation that
children
Use synonyms
 in Australia, between
boys
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 and
girls
Use synonyms
, have in selected leisure activities,
such
Linking Words
 as: skateboarding, bike riding, watching TV or videos, computer games, art and craft. Overall, it is clear
boys
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 spend more free time in certain activities than
girls
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. Sports and entertainment are the
favorites
Change the spelling
favourites
show examples
 of Australian male
children
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, while Australian female
children
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 enjoy their leisure time making arts and
craft
Fix the agreement mistake
crafts
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. Watching TV or videos is the greatest activity that 5 to 14-year-olds enjoy a great deal.
However
Linking Words
, in the rest of
pastimes
Correct article usage
the pastimes
show examples
,
boys
Use synonyms
 lead on the graph. Sports as skateboarding and bike riding make a difference around 10% than Australian
girls
Use synonyms
.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, the comparison about computer games played by
boys
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 is 20% than
girls
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the only pastime female
children
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 enjoy more than male
children
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 in Australia, according to the chart, is art and craft. The difference between both
children
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’ gender is over 10%, but less
20
Change preposition
than 20
show examples
%.
Submitted by mayra.moresol on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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