School should concentrate on teaching students the academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Subjects such as music and sports are not useful. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#school #students #subjects #future #careers #music #sports

Some people believe that teaching academic

subjects

should be the principal

aproach

Correct your spelling

approach

of schools to prepare

students

for better jobs in their future, while alternative

subjects

such

as music and

sports

are considered as wasting time. Personally, I think that both types of

subjects

could be practical, and I

Add the comma(s)

, therefore,

show examples

therefore

disagree with the statement that music and

sports

are not useful

subjects

. On the one hand, alternative courses could sometimes be helpful for future careers.

For example

, learning how to sing or play a musical instrument could bring benefits for

students

in networking events or having job promotions. My cousin once told me about his experience when he got a promotion as a marketing manager for his talent and bravery because he volunteered to perform a show at his company event for clients. Another course that I find helpful and essential

Correct your spelling

show examples

sports

. In my opinion,

sports

could bring benefits to

students

because they help them to improve their strength to work under pressure or they could expand their professional network by playing

sports

with their colleagues or partners.

On the other hand

, schools should teach

students

academic

subjects

because they will help them to pursue their dreams

Change preposition

show examples

professional

Correct article usage

a professional

show examples

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

. If

students

want to be scientists or biologists, they need to have basic knowledge of academic

subjects

such

as mathematics, geography, biology, which should be taught at school before enrolling in universities or going to work. In my case, it took me around one year to study basic knowledge of

Probality

Correct your spelling

Probability

and Mathematical Statistics at

highschool

Correct your spelling

high school

show examples

for pursuing my dream job as a

Maket

Correct your spelling

Market

Researcher at university. In conclusion, academic

subjects

are essential for

students

, but

subjects

such

as music and

sports

could be equally practical and helpful for different circumstance

Submitted by bediinderpreet8 on Sat Jul 24 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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School should concentrate on teaching students the academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Subjects such as music and sports are not useful. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

in some countries, an increasing number of children are overweight or obese as a result of eating too much fast food. Banning fast food from school canteens is the best way to fight this problem. to what etent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn teamwork. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.