Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations

In our societies, some people believed that there is an existence of The One that

control

Change the verb form

controls

show examples

our

lives

. They might say that it is best for us to agree to receive an unlucky condition like

unacceptable

Correct article usage

an unacceptable

show examples

job or

insufficiency

Correct article usage

an insufficiency

show examples

of wages; He would be the reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

all of our possessions and decisions that we have for now.

On the other hand

, some people argue that we must give some efforts in every challenging

situations

Change to a singular noun

situation

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because we as a human have a responsibility to strive for our

lives

. I might agree with the latter as it could make us some improvement in every

situation

in our

lives

. We all acknowledge that we might not

obtained

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obtain

show examples

all

what

Change the word

that

show examples

we want; we always have a limit in our desires.

In addition

, there might be The Great that

make

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makes

show examples

every

events

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event

show examples

happened. Believing on

this

notion, some people, usually called Jabariyyah in term of Islamic thought, agree that we have to accept every

situation

that The

God

give to us: bad or good.

In other words

, they might argue that humans are controlled by predestination, without having choice or free will. They believe that it could give us,

thus

, a peaceful condition in every

moments

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moment

show examples

in our

lives

On the contrary

, others, usually called Qadariyyah, believe that we have to struggle for our

lives

, no matter what

situation

The

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

God

give to us. Our fortunes,

in addition

, are determined by our efforts. They might argue that

The

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

God

would not change our fate but we have to try even only a little. While they still believe that intervention of The

God

is exist

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exists

show examples

this

perspective could obviously give us

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

hope to improve our

lives

in any

situation

could

Correct pronoun usage

that could

show examples

happened

Change the verb form

happen

show examples

. To conclude, I strongly believe that we have to give the best efforts every time, so we could lead the way we take as

The

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

God

do some rest for us.

Submitted by kardina.nawassa.s on Sun Jul 25 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

adversity
resilience
stoicism
contentment
cope
adapt
endure
persevere
settle
ambition
tenacious
determined
resourceful
optimistic
self-improvement
proactive
initiative
transform
overcome
confront

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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that sport is very important for society. Others, however, argue that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.（重复2011 年老题）

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative on society?

Some people think that it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transportation system such as railway and trains. To what extend do you agree or disagree.