Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In our societies, some people believed that there is an existence of The One that

control

Change the verb form

controls

show examples

our

lives

. They might say that it is best for us to agree to receive an unlucky condition like

unacceptable

Correct article usage

an unacceptable

show examples

job or

insufficiency

Correct article usage

an insufficiency

show examples

of wages; He would be the reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

all of our possessions and decisions that we have for now.

On the other hand

, some people argue that we must give some efforts in every challenging

situations

Change to a singular noun

situation

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because we as a human have a responsibility to strive for our

lives

. I might agree with the latter as it could make us some improvement in every

situation

in our

lives

. We all acknowledge that we might not

obtained

Change the verb form

obtain

show examples

all

what

Change the word

that

show examples

we want; we always have a limit in our desires.

In addition

, there might be The Great that

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

every

events

Change to a singular noun

event

show examples

happened. Believing on

this

notion, some people, usually called Jabariyyah in term of Islamic thought, agree that we have to accept every

situation

that The

God

give to us: bad or good.

In other words

, they might argue that humans are controlled by predestination, without having choice or free will. They believe that it could give us,

thus

, a peaceful condition in every

moments

Change to a singular noun

moment

show examples

in our

lives

On the contrary

, others, usually called Qadariyyah, believe that we have to struggle for our

lives

, no matter what

situation

The

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

God

give to us. Our fortunes,

in addition

, are determined by our efforts. They might argue that

The

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

God

would not change our fate but we have to try even only a little. While they still believe that intervention of The

God

is exist

Change the verb form

exists

show examples

this

perspective could obviously give us

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

hope to improve our

lives

in any

situation

could

Correct pronoun usage

that could

show examples

happened

Change the verb form

happen

show examples

. To conclude, I strongly believe that we have to give the best efforts every time, so we could lead the way we take as

The

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

God

do some rest for us.

Submitted by kardina.nawassa.s on Sun Jul 25 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

adversity
resilience
stoicism
contentment
cope
adapt
endure
persevere
settle
ambition
tenacious
determined
resourceful
optimistic
self-improvement
proactive
initiative
transform
overcome
confront

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do disadvantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages.
First of all, there is no doubt in my mind that this situation in which teen adults have a great number of existence compared with older' is more beneficial for society. I would like to explain why young nations are more important with my relevant examples.
6.5
band
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In a plethora of nations, there is an ongoing debate regarding the allocation of funds for transportation infrastructure. While a number of individuals argue that the government should invest money to improve public transport, others suggest that generating more rail lines for rapid trains to help citizens move between cities and provinces conveniently is more crucial. However, I firmly believe that priority should be given to enhancing the current communal travel systems, even though building new railway lines for extremely rapid trains may have certain benefits. Hence, I will provide several justifications and concrete examples in this article to assess both assertions from my own perspective.
4
band
Some people feel that we should protect all wild animals. Other people think that only some wild animals should be protected. Discuss both points of view and give your opinon.
Protecting wild animals is a debated topic, with some advocating for the preservation of all species while others suggest a more selective approach. I believe a balanced strategy is necessary with protecting a few of them.
5
band
In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be abel to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In near future, multitude of people would rather to download the online e-books without any payment than to purchase printed newspapers or books. While major of people prefer e-books, I really enjoy reading printed books and prefer to buy paper books in near future.
5.5
band
some people work for the same organisation all their working life. others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Some people believe that working for the same company for the rest of their working life is better. Meanwhile, others consider it is much better to gain some experience while working in different companies. Although working in the same company has remained more convenient, I believe that working in different companies can enhance the variety of skills workers need to help them improve.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do disadvantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people feel that we should protect all wild animals. Other people think that only some wild animals should be protected. Discuss both points of view and give your opinon.

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be abel to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

some people work for the same organisation all their working life. others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.