In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

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Nowadays, there are many qualified
students
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after graduation
Correct pronoun usage
who are

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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are
Change the verb form
is

The plural verb are does not appear to agree with the singular subject graduation. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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unemployed after long-term seeking
for
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a job. In my
opinions
Fix the agreement mistake
opinion

It seems that opinions may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,
this
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issue happens due to some reasons relating to both
graduates
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and governments and some measures should be taken to tackle
this
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problem as soon as possible. There might be some possible reasons that lead to the unemployment of many
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

although
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they get are highly educated.
Firstly
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, all
graduduates
Correct your spelling
graduates

The word graduduates is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

tend to stay
at
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the city and try to get a job while there
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb form is does not seem to agree with the plural subject much empty vacancies. Consider changing the verb form.

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not
much
Change the quantifier
many

It appears that the quantifier much does not fit with the countable noun vacancies. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

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empty vacancies.
Students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

seem to apply for some big companies for well-known employers that only recruit several
candiates
Correct your spelling
candidates

The word candiates is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

in a year and the competition is extremely high with thousands of resumes.
Therefore
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,
unsuccesful
Correct your spelling
unsuccessful
successful

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candidates do not want to apply for small businesses and wait for the
next
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opportunities.
Secondly
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, the government in many countries are unable to distribute job positions suitably to some provinces and suburbs. If authorities encourage all
graduates
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to leave big
cosmopolititans
Correct your spelling
cosmopolitans
cosmopolitan

The word cosmopolititans is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

and work in some less crowded cities with higher incomes and bonuses, many
graduates
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will not try to keep accomodating in cities, which cause
unescessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary

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redanduncies
Correct your spelling
redundancies

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.
Finally
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,
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem occurs
also
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due to the lack of programs in universities to guide
students
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set
Fix the infinitive
to set

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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clear purposes and targets for their future jobs which can meet employees' requirements. To address
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue, there could be some potential solutions that have to be conducted by
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government

The word goverments is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

and
graduates
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. It may be more beneficial if governments improve the lectures and programs that
aims
Change the verb form
aim

The verb aims does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to make
students
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clearly understand what they want to work in the future
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker so that. Consider removing the comma.

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so that they can easily search for the companies and the requirements of future jobs.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore

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,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government

The word goverments is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

and local authorities have to encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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recruitment in rural areas or small provinces that can attract more
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to apply. Another step could
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

be effective that
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should contact employers to get internships before officially graduating, which does not only provide them sufficient skills and knowledge but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

help employers easily design more practical questions while interviewing. In conclusion, the unemployment of many highly qualified individuals occurs because of both
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government

The word goverments is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem can be tackled by some realistic measures by designing practical programs, distributing suitable jobs to some remote areas and trying to get internships before graduation.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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