IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

#world #technology #internet #terms #control #security #information
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The society itself now is technology
engrosed
Correct your spelling
engrossed
,
also
Linking Words
 technology has taken over the entire country.with these few points listed below, you will agree with me that our society needs more of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
:
firstly
Linking Words
, with adequate
information
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 in the city on the
internet
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 it has reduced the
occurence
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occurrence
 of so many problems,
for example
Linking Words
 with the incidence of covid 19 the
awaerness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 was spread across the country through the
internet
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, on the reduction of spread and prevention in the increase outbreaks,
also
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 better
information
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 brings about better knowledge of
control
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the control
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 of diseases.
secondly
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, In the
precence
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presence
 of crime rate on going in the society, appropriate
annoncement
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announcement
 from the
internet
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 brings about the need for security measures and
approch
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approach
 to the reduction of crime,
moreover
Linking Words
, good advocacy can be done perfectly from the media,
Also
Linking Words
 to an extent, there should be control of everything
that is
Linking Words
 been brought out without proper investigations and many other more. In a nutshell, as much as there is a great influence in the advantage, you will strongly believe that the merit is more powerful than the
dismerit
Correct your spelling
demerit
,
therefore
Linking Words
 the use of technology in terms of
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 gives
a better
Remove the article
better information
a piece of better information
show examples
information
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 about the prevention and spread, crime rate
are
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is
show examples
also
Linking Words
 reduced and managed.
Moreover
Linking Words
, better
information
Use synonyms
 brings about better knowledge of
control
Add an article
the control
show examples
 of diseases.
Submitted by ejiromillicent on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • digital banking
  • cybersecurity
  • data protection
  • security breaches
  • cyber attacks
  • online transactions
  • digital divide
  • surveillance
  • freedom of information
  • responsible usage
  • ethical considerations
  • digital footprints
  • online behavior
  • information inequality
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