IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The crime rate increasing nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime do you agree or disagree

#crime #rate #advance #technology
In
21st
Change the article
the 21st
show examples
 century, technical advancement
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
 enormous changes in the outlook of
people
 towards criminal
activities
.
However
 new creative applications help for understanding illegal
activities
 but
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 crime rates are increasing. So I completely disagree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 notion that technology cannot decrease
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate The rising
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 always stressing more illegitimate
activities
 like theft, terrorism, rape and murder.
Moreover
,
people
 need more money and
secure
Correct article usage
a secure
show examples
 job to meet their day
today
Correct your spelling
to day
show examples
life
. Apparently, some
people
 use online tools for taking money from others and they negatively inspiring
people
 for doing
anti social
Add a hyphen
anti-social
show examples
activities
. To illustrate
this
, recently
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 of India enacted
syber
Correct your spelling
cyber
 law against child prostitution and child trafficking. Authorities blocked major online sites for reducing these social evils. Technical application of communication create lots of changes in the
life
 of
people
 like
syber
Correct your spelling
cyber
 bullying, attacking
privacy
Add an article
the privacy
show examples
 of
people
 through
social
Add an article
the social
a social
show examples
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
, publishing fake details of
people
 and cheating others. Reportedly, it
also
results
Add the preposition
inresults
fromresults
show examples
 communal riots and questioning national integration. These bad effects are increasing day by day
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to conventional time. To illustrate
this
, during the past, banking systems used
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
show examples
 applications. Now online system considered more convenient but less secured because online money cheating
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 rising in our society. To recapitulate, there is a saying ‘a bird without wings’
similarly
 ‘ a man without empathy considered a disaster of society. We need development but do not
forgot
Change the verb form
forget
show examples
 the value of
life
. It is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high time that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 ensured the protection of citizens from any threatening
activities
, as they are the pillars of
beauty
Add an article
the beauty
show examples
 of
life
Submitted by sooryag03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: