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Band 5.5

The crime rate increasing nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime do you agree or disagree

#crime #rate #advance #technology
In
21st
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the 21st
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 century, technical advancement
create
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creates
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 enormous changes in the outlook of
people
 towards criminal
activities
.
However
 new creative applications help for understanding illegal
activities
 but
still
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,still
show examples
 crime rates are increasing. So I completely disagree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 notion that technology cannot decrease
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
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 rate The rising
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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population
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the population
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 always stressing more illegitimate
activities
 like theft, terrorism, rape and murder.
Moreover
,
people
 need more money and
secure
Correct article usage
a secure
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 job to meet their day
today
Correct your spelling
to day
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life
. Apparently, some
people
 use online tools for taking money from others and they negatively inspiring
people
 for doing
anti social
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anti-social
show examples
activities
. To illustrate
this
, recently
government
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the government
show examples
 of India enacted
syber
Correct your spelling
cyber
 law against child prostitution and child trafficking. Authorities blocked major online sites for reducing these social evils. Technical application of communication create lots of changes in the
life
 of
people
 like
syber
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cyber
 bullying, attacking
privacy
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the privacy
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 of
people
 through
social
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the social
a social
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network
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networks
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, publishing fake details of
people
 and cheating others. Reportedly, it
also
results
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inresults
fromresults
show examples
 communal riots and questioning national integration. These bad effects are increasing day by day
compare
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compared
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 to conventional time. To illustrate
this
, during the past, banking systems used
paper based
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paper-based
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 applications. Now online system considered more convenient but less secured because online money cheating
are
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is
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 rising in our society. To recapitulate, there is a saying ‘a bird without wings’
similarly
 ‘ a man without empathy considered a disaster of society. We need development but do not
forgot
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forget
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 the value of
life
. It is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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high time that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 ensured the protection of citizens from any threatening
activities
, as they are the pillars of
beauty
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the beauty
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 of
life
Submitted by sooryag03 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • surveillance cameras
  • advanced security systems
  • potential criminals
  • law enforcement
  • AI (artificial intelligence)
  • big data analytics
  • forensic science
  • public awareness
  • social media
  • online platforms
  • crime prevention
  • crime rates
  • counterargument
  • cybercrime
  • technological misconduct
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