IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The crime rate increasing nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime do you agree or disagree

#crime #rate #advance #technology
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In
21st
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the 21st
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 century, technical advancement
create
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creates
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 enormous changes in the outlook of
people
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 towards criminal
activities
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.
However
Linking Words
 new creative applications help for understanding illegal
activities
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 but
still
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,still
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 crime rates are increasing. So I completely disagree
the
Change preposition
with the
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 notion that technology cannot decrease
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
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 rate The rising
number of
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apply
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population
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the population
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 always stressing more illegitimate
activities
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 like theft, terrorism, rape and murder.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
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 need more money and
secure
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a secure
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 job to meet their day
today
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to day
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life
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. Apparently, some
people
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 use online tools for taking money from others and they negatively inspiring
people
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 for doing
anti social
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anti-social
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activities
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. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, recently
government
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the government
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 of India enacted
syber
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cyber
 law against child prostitution and child trafficking. Authorities blocked major online sites for reducing these social evils. Technical application of communication create lots of changes in the
life
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 of
people
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 like
syber
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cyber
 bullying, attacking
privacy
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the privacy
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 of
people
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 through
social
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the social
a social
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network
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networks
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, publishing fake details of
people
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 and cheating others. Reportedly, it
also
Linking Words
results
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inresults
fromresults
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 communal riots and questioning national integration. These bad effects are increasing day by day
compare
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compared
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 to conventional time. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, during the past, banking systems used
paper based
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paper-based
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 applications. Now online system considered more convenient but less secured because online money cheating
are
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is
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 rising in our society. To recapitulate, there is a saying ‘a bird without wings’
similarly
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 ‘ a man without empathy considered a disaster of society. We need development but do not
forgot
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forget
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 the value of
life
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. It is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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high time that
government
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the government
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 ensured the protection of citizens from any threatening
activities
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, as they are the pillars of
beauty
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the beauty
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 of
life
Use synonyms
Submitted by sooryag03 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • surveillance cameras
  • advanced security systems
  • potential criminals
  • law enforcement
  • AI (artificial intelligence)
  • big data analytics
  • forensic science
  • public awareness
  • social media
  • online platforms
  • crime prevention
  • crime rates
  • counterargument
  • cybercrime
  • technological misconduct
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