"Prevention is better than cure." Out of country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures.

#prevention #cure #country #health #budget #proportion #treatment #education #measures

Healthy is the most cardinal part of our life, without good

health

we may not be able to carry out our daily activities efficiently and effectively. It is for

this

reason that individuals must take it upon themselves to prevent contracting any ailments or put up measures to reduce their effects on our bodily functions through treatment.

Firstly

,preventive protocols against some conditions or diseases are formulated to lessen the burden that comes with

management

Correct article usage

the management

show examples

of these

I'llnesses

Correct your spelling

Illnesses

. By educating the general public on how the

health

problem comes about,

it's

Correct your spelling

its

show examples

progress,the signs and symptoms and possible complications,we are increasing their knowledge base and

thus

compliance to steps put in place against

aquiring

Correct your spelling

acquiring

the ailments are adhered to.

For example

sensitisation on avoidance of getting the covid-19 virus

such

as social distancing, frequent hand washing,not touching eyes and nose and steaming has lead

Change preposition

show examples

the reduction of confirmed cases. Treatment of certain genetic

illness

Fix the agreement mistake

illnesses

show examples

has lead to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

reduction in mortality rates globally.

For instance

,the number of people dying with

leukemia

Change the spelling

leukaemia

show examples

has been lowered through the discovery of stem cell transplant which is better than bone marrow transplant, an invasive procedure

Change preposition

for

show examples

both the donor and recipient.

Although

prevention of various

health

issues is important,it is equally vital to treat them in order to stop the progression and effect on the body which

Correct your spelling

may be

show examples

maybe

Correct your spelling

may be

show examples

expensive to treat.It is my opinion that government must allocate

equivalent

Add an article

the equivalent

an equivalent

show examples

amount of funds to

prevention

Correct article usage

the prevention

show examples

and treatment of

health

conditions and diseases.

Submitted by Sarah Mbasela on Sat Jul 31 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

246 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive measures
health education
public awareness
proactive approach
unsustainable
economic productivity
healthcare system
vaccinations
curative measures
comprehensive healthcare
financial burden
incidence
preventable diseases
eradicating
controlling
allocated

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"Prevention is better than cure." Out of country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Since traffic is such a problem in modern cities, private cars should not be allowed in city centres. Discuss the arguments for and against this statement. What do you think we should do about the problem of traffic in city centres?

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is best to save money, for example in a bank or savings scheme. Other people feel that money should be spent whenever it is available. Discuss these views and reach an opinion on this debate.