Art is essential part of all cultures throughout the world however in these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus on science technology and business

#art #part #cultures #world #people #focus #science #technology #business

Art

crucial

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a crucial

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part of cultural heritage and represents individual and express the nation's characteristics. But

people

's interest in

art

is getting lesser and lesser owing to lack of job prospects and

lean to

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lean-to

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science, technology and business. Government can tackle

this

problem

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association

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an association

the association

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with

public

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the public

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Firstly

People

consider

art

hobby

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a hobby

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that we do in our spare time to entertain ourselves or we do to relieve our work stress.

Secondly

, you can secure

good

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a good

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job in multinational companies with decent pay after studying

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apply

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science, technology and business.

On the other hand

, many artists struggle for their livelihood as compared to those employed in business and technology.

Moreover

, Getting

education

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an education

show examples

in these subjects are perceived as

gateway

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the gateway

a gateway

show examples

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success.

For example

the

Correct article usage

apply

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time magazine has conducted a survey that shows science graduates have better job opportunities than

art

graduates

Art

backbone

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the backbone

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of every country if attention will not

given

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be given

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

this

sector, it can vanish from our country.

Thus

, Authorities should allocate funds to build new

art

schools and maintain

art

galleries to revive

art

Add an article

the art

show examples

In addition

, they can hold cultural events that will attract the

tourists

Change to a genitive case

tourist's

tourists'

show examples

attention and create jobs for artists and will generate revenue to boost up

economy

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the economy

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. If reasonable

people

are given to artists, they will start focusing on

art

and can pursue his career as

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an artist

show examples

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

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. To conclude,

art

showcase

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a showcase

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of our culture, history and history that can not be ignored because it will make more

people

unemployed. Government should take good steps for its revival.

Submitted by naila.shafique111 on Sat Jul 31 2021

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Art is essential part of all cultures throughout the world however in these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus on science technology and business

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying more up-to-date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Globalization has both advantages and disadvantages. Discuss both and give your opinion.

Some people believe that countries should invite foreign companies to open their brunches, offices and factories in order to develop their economies. Others think countries should invest in their own companies instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A large number of young people cannot find a job when they leave university. What problems will youth unemployment cause for individuals and for society? What measures should take to help reduce unemployment?

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects at university in many countries. Why is this? What effects does this have on society?