IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

As most people spend a maior Dart of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job saisuction for all workers?

#people #maior #dart #adult #life #work #job #satisfaction #element #factors #expectation #saisuction #workers
After graduating from school, most
people
 devolve a major part of their life
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
work
.
Therefore
, having a high level of
job
satisfactory
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
 has
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 influence on
people’s
 well beings. I believe that an ordinary workload, an amicable
work
 atmosphere and a reasonable salary could lead to
job
 satisfaction. There are three aspects which will improve
people’s
job
satisfactory
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
.
Firstly
,
people
 who working a long time and having an excessive workload tend to feel depressed and frustrating.
Hence
 a regular working
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
 and workload will lead to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
relatively high
job
 satisfaction of employees.
Secondly
, If the salaries of workers are not live up
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 expectations, they will have a sense of feeling that their hard-working did not be rewarding and appreciated，which will definitely result in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
low
job
 satisfaction. So
paycheck
Correct article usage
the paycheck
show examples
 of
people
 should be adequate to provide
themselves
Change preposition
for themselves
show examples
 and their family and give them a sense of achievement.
In addition
, a friendly and amicable
work
 atmosphere which means that employees and employers could get along could
also
 boost
people’s
 wellbeing and
satisfactory
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
 in the workplace. It is true that not everyone will enjoy their
jobs
. In the
increasing
Change the adjective
increasingly
show examples
 competitive
job
 market and the era of economic downturn, it is impossible that everyone could
practice
Correct your spelling
practise
show examples
 the profession that they
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
 in.
For instance
,
people
 who pursuing
jobs
 in
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
 field are less likely to enjoy their
work
, as these certain
jobs
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to be more repetitive and tedious . In conclusion, adults spend most of their time and energy in the workplace.
Therefore
,
job
satisfactory
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
 plays an essential part in
people’s
 lives. There are several factors
contribute
Correct pronoun usage
that contribute
show examples
 to
this
.
However
, it is unrealistic to have the expectation that everyone could love their
work
 since different
jobs
 have different requirements.
Submitted by 1121408964 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: